I used to think I hated who I used to be.
Now I can't be so sure that that's true.
How can you hate who you used to be if you are who you are now? Easily.
My old self has quickly turned into somebody that I used to know.
I've gone through enough to know what a good feeling and a bad feeling is like. Honestly, haven't we all?
I'd like to think every lesson I've gone through has been with the intention of learning something down the round. That is still to be determined.
I've been through a lot of bad days and a lot of good days, and at the point I am right now, I'm proud of where I stand.
My old self is just somebody that I used to know. She's a memory, and a good one at that, but very clearly just somebody that I used to know.
I've written a lot on this topic, in this perspective of a letter to my old self; but I don't think there's ever too much about self-reflection or self-identity.
So, to somebody that I used to know, I don't think I can thank you enough for what you were and what you had.
I take a lot of things for granted. Material things, emotions, feelings, people. I'm not as grateful for what I've been given. I know this about myself. Quite honestly it sucks. But I know.
To somebody that I used to know, I take everything you've given me with grace and a grain of salt.
I'm not my mistakes; I'm not my achievements; I'm not somebody that I'm pretending to be; I'm not somebody that I used to know.
But that part of me is somebody that I used to know.
I used to be ashamed of who I was in the past. Of what I wasn't getting done, what I was getting done, what I couldn't do, even what I could do. There wasn't much that I used to be proud of.
I've learned that everything comes in time. Everything comes how and when it's supposed to.
To somebody that I used to know, that's all you'll ever be.
I never want to be ashamed of who I am or what I've done. I want to look at my past and not be afraid of what I've done or am going to do.
I used to think we were all destined for one type of past and one destination.
Maybe, naively, I still think that. Is that good or bad? Whose to say.
I've learned now that maybe that is the case. For the time being anyway. You're set in stone to do one task and one task only for that time being. Set to only focus on that one thing.
For that time.
I've come across this saying that I've said in my head for over a month now.
Don't stop until you're proud.
I don't remember where I heard, who I heard it from or where it's even from, but right now it's everything.
Don't stop until you're proud. Until you get to the point where you're set and you're happy and you're proud of who you are and what you've done and what you've set for yourself.
To the person I was yesterday, to the person I was 6 months ago, to the person I was a year ago, to the person I was 10 years ago, to somebody that I used to know, to the someone I know now, don't stop until you're proud.
To somebody that I used to know, I'm glad you never stopped. Because now you're here, and I can say that I'm proud of what you've gone through to be where you are.
