I have nothing against pink, and as a woman I'm used to the pressure of having to conform to gender roles. However, when someone decided my ears were just too delicate for regular ear plugs and thought turning the Styrofoam pink would solve the "problem," I had to point out the absurdity.
1. Blingsting Self Protection Products
"So cute, it hurts." There are other companies featuring self protection products, like Women On Guard, but to me, pepper spray is just as efficient with or without glitter and bedazzled jewels. If I'm about to gouge a predator's eyes out with my kitten shaped key chain, it won't stay pink regardless.
2. Pretty Tools
One might think the pink tax would weigh the products down, but it's common knowledge that tools of any kind are easier on a female's dainty hands when they're covered in pastels. I have to give this HSN Home Tool Kit credit, though; I can now choose a floral pattern over just hot pink. Progress.
3. Bic For Her Pens
These are nothing new, and Ellen DeGeneres even did a comical response in 2012. These have caused quite a stir, yet are still on the market. Designed to fit better in a woman's hand, we can finally stop wrapping our fingers around meaty men's pens which are scientifically proven to cause callous and ruin manicures.4. Pretty In Pink Earplugs
As an American female, I know my worth is based solely on how white my smile is and the number on the scale. The key to living up to America's standards: pink earplugs to ensure beauty sleep. They are now softer than ever to protect my ears, so there's never an excuse to listen to and obey a man's orders.5. Pump Gloves for Women
I generally don't think pumping gloves are a bad idea. They're good for when it's cold outside or you just don't like the risk of getting gas all over yourself. These products are no longer for sale due to how some people found gender based gloves "designed to protect a woman's hands and manicure" to "add comfort and class to pumping gas" a little too silly.
6. Fashion Batteries
These heavy duty batteries are cute, and cuteness is essential when you're going to put batteries inside another product for it to be out of sight and mind for three straight months. Even if no one sees it, it still has to look good, right?
7. Liquor For Women
I understand not all alcohol may be made equally, but I've never seen drinks such as these to promote inequality. This particular product is called Girl Pink, but there are other female targeted drinks such as Chick Beer to guarantee women stay ladylike even when they're stumbling and slurring their way through a walk of shame.
8. Laxatives For Women
Other than the green packaging, the male Dulcolax looks to be exactly the same as the female designated laxative. I guess this product means the secret is out -- women go number two, too. Women should pay thanks to this product, for if it didn't exist, men would never know.
9. Stonemill Bread for Women
You can ingest less calories to look good for your man, and then there's even bread for him so you can make him the manliest sandwiches! For those illiterate women, the bags are color coded so we can think less (as we all know thinking creates wrinkles).
10. Vehicle Maintenance For Women
"Everything you wanted to know, but were too afraid to ask!" This is probably the most sexist thing marketed towards women. The author could've said, "For dummies," or "For beginners," but alas, this is only for those who wish to be "Queens of the Road."