At one point, my circle of friends and myself were all on a similar page. Whether it was talking about a test we needed to pass or a guy we wanted to hang with, we understood the stage we were at and we could all relate to each other. I'm not sure if I had assumed our 20s would be the same, but I had an idea that didn't match the one that's actually happening for us all right now.
Some of my friends spend their weekends at the bar, others spend it devoted to their job, while others are engaged and starting a family. It still has yet to hit me we are all on completely different paths, but regardless, no matter where any of us are at, it's okay.
I never sit and think that one of us is better off than the other. I'm recently engaged, and another close friend of mine is the party all weekend-sleep all day kind of gal, and that's fine too. I think the idea that because we are the same age so we have to be at the same spot in life is overrated. Yeah maybe you're cool with your husband and three kids Katie, but Beth loves being a bartender and swiping left on the weekends.
It is what it is, so why are we still bitching?
I see a lot of girls my age completely shaming other girls for being ready to settle down. "You're only 20-something, why would you not experience more and travel a bit before making that kind of commitment?"
The answer is quite simple:
For you that may be the case, but maybe for another, this is a commitment they're ready and willing to make.
I am the engaged one and there are times I still am amazed at how fast I've reached adulthood. I never wonder why other people aren't where I'm at because half the time I'm still trying to believe where I'm at myself.
I met a few old friends a couple of weeks ago, and to be sitting together at the same time, while we all knew how hard it was to make it work was actually pretty cool. I had to make sure I let my fur babies out after work because my fiancé was on a business trip while also assuring I turned my assignments in for my online classes, my best friend Em spent all day at her big girl job, while my other friend Kara was finishing up packing at Med School because she was leaving for Paris in a week. Our lives are just all so different, but I think that's what makes each one of us unique. We don't all intend on living the same lifestyle cause that's just boring as all hell.
Here are a few things to keep in mind just in case you feel like shaming someone for being at a different stage than you:
Just because someone has kids young, does not mean they can't afford to care for their children. You have no idea about their financial situation. Stop trying to assume because it's not something you could afford personally.
Just because someone in their twenties is single, drunk on the weekends, and traveling a lot, doesn't mean they're going nowhere with their lives. People move at different speeds and who knows, you may look back one day and wish you did this shit more.
Just because someone meets the guy they want to spend forever with at a young age, doesn't mean they're settling. Some people find love sooner than others-be happy they're happy. It's a cool thing.
Just because someone is in school for years and years, DOES NOT mean they're wasting their time or racking up the debt. Chances are they're going to school for something they're passionate about or they feel will provide them with a good future. Good for them for working hard and doing what (let's be honest) the majority of us just don't feel like doing.
We can all be on different paths and still be successful. We can all love early, make babies, get drunk, (preferably not right after the making babies part) and travel the world and still be considered "on the right path." Because guess what? There is no exact path to perfection and even if you think you've created the perfect one, chances are someone else does too.
Did it ever dawn on you maybe you both can be?
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