I am nearly 21 years old and I have seen friends come and go like seasons. Some end because of distance, some end because of disagreement, but others end in fire and you must put out the flame.
Often I think about how temporary our surroundings are. I mean, I'm in college and it feels right. It feels comfortable and I am stable here. I have an apartment that I call home and I have people that I call friends and this is my normal. This is my current normal. But a few years back I had a different normal, and a different bed felt comfortable and different shoes fit my feet and different people made me laugh. During both of these normals I had visions and expectations of the future and who would be there, but whilst imagining this I never thought about the people I would lose and the people I would gain. How are you supposed to assume that you're going to meet people that will change your life in years to come? How can you expect to lose someone who was so important to you at one point in your life? There is no way (unless you're some sort of psychic, and if you are then plz help a girl out) that you can anticipate losing people. But you can infer when a friendship is toxic or becoming unhealthy.
Toxic friendships are sometimes overlooked, because just because a person is toxic does not mean that they aren't entertaining. Sometimes there is a group of toxic friends who feed off of each other's poison. Toxic friends are the ones that leave you out. Toxic friends are the ones that create group chats without you in them. Toxic friends don't support you and choose sides. Toxic friends give you FOMO (Fear of Missing Out), rather than JOMO (Joy of Missing Out). Toxic friends don't ask if you're okay. Toxic friends don't care that they are toxic, they only care that it's hurting you.
However, the best feeling in the whole wide world is not caring. Sure, you're losing people that meant something to you, and at some point, they were your world. But you're allowed to grow up. You're allowed to move out. You're allowed to meet new people, learn new people, love new people, and be a new person. You're allowed to let go of the past, embrace reality, and long for the future. Pain is temporary, don't let it be more than that.
In the long run, I am thankful for the people who have given me examples of toxic friendships, so I know how to recognize one and relieve myself of it in the future. I am thankful for the memories. I am thankful for knowing that I am better off without the people that caused me pain and heartbreak. I am thankful that they made me so much more appreciative of the beautiful, intelligent, kind, loving, and supportive people in my life. The people that they will never be. Some friends may not be forever, but others are. So give them a hug today and tell them how much you love them.
