Last week, against all sound logic, Betsy DeVos was confirmed and sworn in as the new Secretary of Education. She has been open about her opposition to public schools, funding for special education, and she has no prior experience with public schools in any form. She has never had to take out a loan while she attended college, and the same goes for all of her children. Like many in the Trump administration, DeVos is extremely inexperienced in the field of education. That being taken into account, I have compiled a list of several other candidates who would be far superior as Secretary of Education, as opposed to Betsy DeVos:
1. The scarlet macaw
This large species of parrot is indigenous to Latin America, all the way from Mexico to Brazil. These birds are highly intelligent and are thought to have the intellectual range of a young child. Ergo, an immensely better candidate for Secretary of Education.
2. The crow
There are many species of crow, including several subspecies. Some researchers have found them to be smarter than apes. The proportion of their body weight to brain weight is the same as apes, whales, and dolphins. They are capable of making tools and remembering people's faces. This bird is obviously qualified to lead our school system.
3. The emperor penguin
Emperor penguins are the largest of all the penguins. They have adapted well to their harsh environment in Antartica, huddling together in the bitter wind to keep warm. After the females lay their eggs, they leave them with their male counterparts while they go out to sea to hunt for fish. The males watch the eggs until the females return. They have distinct calls and can recognize them to identify each other. This bird is highly intelligent and would be a great Secretary of Education.
4. The common chicken
Often underestimated, researchers have found that chickens are actually quite intelligent. They have some understanding of numbers, are capable of complex negative and positive emotions, and learn social skills in a complex way that is similar to humans. They also demonstrate self-control and self-awareness. Obviously, this common bird knocks Betsy DeVos way out of the park when it comes to eligibility to lead the American education system. My personal vote is for the chicken.
5. The pigeon
Pigeons are hated by many people, particularly city dwellers. However, they are extremely intelligent birds. They are excellent at location, which is why they were used as messenger birds. They can also remember people throughout their lives and discern pigeons from one another. Additionally, they have better eyesight than people do and were even trained by the US Coast Guard to spot people stranded out at sea. This is a dedicated bird, willing to learn new things. Obviously, it is a great choice for Secretary of Education.