The décor in the lawyer's office seemed a contradiction. Pink, calligraphic, polka-dotted and cute, each object filling the space spoke simultaneously to both her meticulous organization and her energy. "I try to keep it as positive as I can," she explained with dark eyes that had seen more than most people of her social class. Her demeanor hardly matched the cute decorations: this lawyer was powerful, passionate, openly opinionated, and active. After years defending victims of sex trafficking, she certainly had the right to a bright office.
Naturally, as a woman seeking to shut down any conceptions of her submissiveness, I grasped her nature as a model and wondered aloud how to embody it. Yet as I explained to this woman my quiet nature, she looked me straight in the eyes and said, "Use it."
The lawyer was enormously successful and high-powered, and at the end of the day she didn't deny herself the bubbly office space that brought her peace. She embraced every corner of her own nature, from the take-no-shit parts to the pink-loving bits.
The more we come to understand how the world operates- or, perhaps, the more we come to realize the impossibility of understanding- the duller our outlook. People hurt one another. Money wins. In the end, we die. And we never get a confirmed meaning for any of it.
In order to signify to others that we've woken up to the truth, we tend to find that only a certain coldness, hopelessness, and loud seriousness best marks our maturity. To furrow our brows and call out in well-articulated anger immediately establishes rapport. But must we deny our own natures once we awaken? Must we give up on the parts of ourselves that exist only in imagery denoting weakness? Or may we still stand in joyous, innocent wonder at the world, or choose to exist quietly?
In response, I am consistently drawn to the title of a sculpture by Camille Henrot: "Is it possible to be a revolutionary and like flowers?"
I am rational, serious cynicism delightfully clothed in sundresses and happy, messy waves of hair.
I am radical opinions delivered in a soft voice.
And I know what I'm talking about.
