I am soft. And no, I don't mean that my skin is smooth, although I do moisturize. But, as Urban Dictionary defines it, to be soft is to be "un-tough or show a little too much heart for things."
Sure, it sounds great to be soft, but in reality, it comes with a lot of suffering.
"There's bravery in being soft," they say. I did not know it was brave for your eyes to fill up with tears any time anyone slightly raises their voice at you. I did not know it was brave for your voice to crack and shake any time you are in an argument.
And I surely did not know it was brave for your feelings to get hurt any time someone opens up their mouth. But, if that is considered to be brave, then I must have the heart of a lion.
In reality, I really have the fragile heart of an anxious mouse. (Mice get anxiety, right?)
Talking about hearts: not only is my heart so fragile, but it is filled with too much love. I mean, it's great to feel so much love, right? Well, it could be.
But, the thing is, I keep most of this love repressed inside of my fragile heart because I always fear that it will be far too overwhelming. And most of the time when I do express this love, it is rarely ever reciprocated. Sure, I make my attempts to harden my heart, but they don't work out so well.
The only time my softness goes away is on Twitter. (I am not as cool in person as I am on Twitter.)
Of course, being soft isn't all that bad. Sometimes, I make people smile, and other times people call me wholesome. Making people smile and being called wholesome really warms my heart, so that's really all I hold on to.
Being soft is just part of who I am. I can't change it, and frankly, as much as I suffer, I don't want to change it. I think it is cool to love strongly and wear your heart on your sleeve (although I wear mine on my forehead).
Too many people take pride in being cold and heartless, meanwhile, it should be the opposite. We are all humans, and we all feel things. There is nothing wrong with feeling things too intensely at times.
So is being soft fun?
Not at all.
But I wouldn't change it, because it makes me who I am.
If you are soft, you're cool, stay soft.
