You may be going through a hard time. You might be struggling with your mental health, physical health, school, work, relationship problems, and/or other things. When you are asked by family members, friends, or acquaintances you run into, "How's school?", "How's work?", or "What are you up to?", you may find yourself trying to be ok. You are trying to present the best version of yourself to the person or people asking you these questions, even if you do not feel even remotely ok. You are trying to justify yourself. Your responses may include: "It's going ok!", or "I'm working at _______ and/or going to school and majoring in x, y, & z".

What if instead of asking people about school or work, we asked them how they are feeling. What if society cared more about happiness? Why does our job or the fact of whether or not we go to school define us? Why can't people be defined by their personality, passions, or who they are as a person? Their quirks, gifts, talents, and whatever makes them unique. Society is set in their ways. Getting a degree from a prestigious university and/or having a high paying, practical, 9 am - 5 pm job is seen as an achievement. There is no doubt that these things are achievements, but what if not everyone is meant to go to school or sit in a cubical? What if you are not going to school at the moment, you transferred schools, switched majors, or you dropped out? Society looks down upon that, which can cause a negative impact on one's mental health. You may feel like a failure because you are not doing the same thing as everyone else. You are not graduating with all of your friends, and you are still trying to figure out what it is that you want to do for the rest of your life.

Back to what I was saying about finding yourself trying to be ok. I'm writing this to get an essential point across. It is ok not to be ok. Society has expectations, and not meeting these can result in the feeling of not being good enough. If an honest response to the questions asked previously was acceptable all the time, imagine how much better people would feel. If there was no judgement cast and people took the time to say, "it's going to be ok", imagine the difference it might make. People are quick to judge a person based on their degree or job profession, when they may not know that the individual is going through something. They may not know the struggles this person has faced, or that this person is not in a good place.

If everyone took the time to ask others how they are doing or feeling, and let someone know that they have worth, I believe things would be better. I believe the stigma around mental health would decrease if people were more accepting of the struggles others endure. So the next time you see someone struggling, tell them it's ok. Let them know it's ok not to be ok. Put your arm around them and tell them things are going to get better. Listen and give support. Tell them all the things about them that you think are great. And lastly, love a little bit harder.

To the person reading this who is going through a difficult time: I'm going through it too. It's going to be ok, and we're going to get through this.

The more I talk about my struggles the more I think it will make a difference for someone else. Let’s break the stigma around mental health, and talk about these topics in order to bring them to light and help others. Let’s change society’s expectations and lift each other up.