There was an article published recently that was badmouthing a movie theater when they had to ask a mother and her autistic son to leave a showing of “Finding Dory” because they were disturbing the other viewers. Even though this movie is about promoting acceptance and tolerance of differences, there is a line that must be drawn when you enter a public place where people are paying money for admission.
Movie theaters have rules about how you must behave in their auditoriums and these often include staying in your seat, being silent, not using your cellphone, etc. There are reasons for these rules and all of these rules hinge, for the most part, on having everyone who comes to the theater enjoy their time spent there. This doesn’t just apply to adults—it also applies to children.
This was not discrimination against an autistic child on the part of the theater, even though it was claimed as a discriminatory action. How was the manager supposed to know that Jessica Matthews' son was autistic? Was she making it obvious? Was she telling everyone that her son was autistic? It doesn’t state that in the article, but I am almost positive she didn’t turn to each stranger in the theater and tell them her son was autistic.
Her child was rolling around on the floor and being distracting. Now, I don’t know about other people, but I know that children who are constantly moving around when I go to see a movie are distracting, and I often end up watching them instead of the movie. It’s not because I want to but because they are behaving in a way that is inappropriate for the establishment they are in. The manager didn’t just go into the auditorium and tell Matthews that she and her son had to leave, they did give her an option—the only option that theaters are truly allowed to give when there are complaints from guests.
Matthews could either help her son sit still or they would have to leave. This is no different from asking teenagers who are talking loudly to be quiet or leave, or from asking adults who are on their phones to take it into the hallway or put their phone away. These are actions that are taken to ensure that everyone in the auditorium enjoys their movie-going experience.
Matthews claims that “all kids struggle to sit down and be quiet,” and while it may be true, it does not make it appropriate for children to act that way in a movie theater setting. I have two nephews, one who is 2 and one who is 4. They are both energetic boys and love having a good time watching movies. Children are supposed to be active and that is normal. The only thing is there are times and places when they shouldn’t be active and should be more calm and peaceful. Movie theaters are one of those places and during a movie is one of those times.
I am speaking from having experience with taking a 3-year-old to a movie. My nephew was 3 years old when I took him to see the movie “Home,” and while he did get up halfway through the movie thinking we were going to leave, I told him that we were staying until the end of the movie and that we needed to be quiet and stay in our seats. He understood what I told him and sat back down quietly.
Often I feel like there is a sense of entitlement to mothers these days where they think they don’t need to help their kids follow the rules because “kids will be kids.” But this is so far from what should be done. If the children are not taught how to properly behave at a young age, then what are you setting yourself up for in the future? Yes, kids will be kids, but there is a way for kids to behave properly and still be children.
If this had been a child without autism and his mother, would there have been such an outburst of rage? I doubt it. Parents often know when to take their children out of the theater, but this mother did not. Sometimes it takes a lot longer for children to learn how to behave in public and sometimes it doesn’t. It is often an experience with trial and error as no two children are alike. One may be ready for movies at 3 while another may not be ready until they are 6 or 7. But it is up to the mother to recognize when their child is not ready.
If Matthews was so offended by how the theater handled the complaints they were getting, she probably knew her child wasn’t ready for that exposure just yet and should have taken the proper measures. She mentioned sitting there for 30 minutes and how her child was acting and how the people in the theater were reacting. If Matthews had time to notice how the people around her did not appreciate her child’s behavior, she should have taken the initiative and left on her own. There is no reason to force your child’s behavior on a stranger; they don’t know what is going on and won’t understand unless you tell every single person you meet your life story.
Merely assuming the actions of the theater manager were solely discriminatory because your child has autism makes a sense of entitlement feel like the real problem here. Instead of using your son’s disability as an excuse to get angry with a movie theater, you should work harder at making sure you aren’t embarrassed in that way ever again. Mothers know when their kids are ready for certain activities, and this 3-year-old was definitely not ready for an outing to a movie theater yet—autistic or not.
