When Social Anxiety Ruins Your Relationships | The Odyssey Online
Start writing a post
Health and Wellness

When Social Anxiety Ruins Your Relationships

Coming to the realization that you don't even know how to make friends is daunting. With social anxiety, it's par for the course--but it doesn't have to be.

153
When Social Anxiety Ruins Your Relationships
"Anxiety" by Alfy on Flickr

Throughout college campuses, anxiety has become a resident of its own. According to the 2015 National College Health Assessment survey, only one in six college students (15.8) had been diagnosed with, or treated for, anxiety. 21.9% from the same survey reported that anxiety had had a negative effect on their school performance, from a low grade to a dropped course.

As anxiety rises to the top mental health issue for adults in America, often lying hand-in-hand with depression, it's hard to fight back. It's hard to want to fight back. It's even harder when anxiety affects you socially and suddenly, you can't think of any friends to turn to.

Outside of your own home, the world is a social place and being alone can often make you feel like a pariah. Truly, when you're restrained by fear and can't even approach someone to make a friend, social anxiety is suffocating you. You can't make eye contact, you're too hyperaware of your body while in a group, you eat more silence than make words, and you simply can't even figure out how to get close enough to someone to even manage those fears. Please realize that at this point, you need someone to talk to.

But don't think that something's wrong with you. People are weird, we're all different--of course, it's not east to talk to someone. Where do you even start? What are you supposed to say? How do you even make friends? Rebecca G. Adams, professor of sociology and gerontology at the University of North Carolina in Greensboro says that these "...three conditions...have [been]considered crucial to making close friends [by sociologists since the 1950's]: proximity; repeated, unplanned interactions; and a setting that encourages people to let their guard down and confide in each other," but that's easier said than done.

Basically, join a club or something that meets weekly, so people get to know you. If you're sporty, go out and push yourself again. You have to get out of your comfort zone and challenge yourself in order to improve. Failure and embarrassment aren't not going to happen to you, but oftentimes, your mind over-analyzes and exaggerates those negative feelings. Remember: that's why you're pushing yourself in the first place.

In small groups, everyone gets to know each other, so start easy. Ask for help, use the other people's names in conversation, ask them about the club/event you're now participating in. Show interest in them and they'll show interest back. After all, you're not a pariah, but a part of the group too.

Above all, do not remain stagnant. If you struggle with eye contact, keep trying to look into people's eyes. If awkward silences are a problem, do not constantly wait for the other person to start the conversation. Take control in social situations instead of always relaxing in the backseat. You're not boring or annoying as long as you smile and listen to others as much as they listen to you.

Social anxiety does it's best to control your life, ostracizing you from the world, stuck inside with just your computer, homework, and a flirtation with depression. When it ruins relationships you have or are in the process of making, it's integral that you think of how much better off you will be when you keep pushing back. You aren't a pariah and you don't deserve to think of yourself that way.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Relationships

10 Facts All People In A Large Family Can Confirm During The Holiday Season

The holiday season can be the best and most stressful time of the year, especially when more people are involved.

1403
kids jumping

The holidays are full of lights, sweets, sweaters, and your favorite movies. There's nothing quite like this period from the beginning of December through January. Christmas, Hanukkah, and New Years. The fun of it all.

I don't know about you but with my large Italian family something is always going on during this season. It can be the most wonderful time of the year while also being the most hectic. These are a few things you know if your family is anything like mine during this time.

Keep Reading...Show less
10 things that happen the second Thanksgiving is over
reference.com

To those who celebrate, you just spent an entire day cooking an elaborate meal with all of your favorite foods. You probably ate your body weight in pumpkin pie and mashed potatoes. What happens now? Oh yea, Christmas. It’s time to take out all of the decorations and Christmas themed things that have been sitting in the attic since last year; it’s time to make a reappearance. So, here are 10 things that happen the second Thanksgiving is over.

Keep Reading...Show less
Adulting

18 Things I Want To Do Now That I'm 18

I'm technically an adult, so I'm legally required to live a little, right?

4561
Happy Birthday Cake

For the entirety of my high school career, I was always seen as the goody-two-shoes. I never got in trouble with a teacher, I kept stellar grades, and when I wasn't doing extracurricular activities, I was at home studying. Even when I did go out, it was usually with a bunch of fellow band geeks. The night would end before 11:00 PM and the only controversial activity would be a fight based on who unfairly won a round of Apples-to-Apples when someone else clearly had a better card (I promise I'm not still holding a grudge).

Now that I'm officially an adult, I want to pursue some new things. I want to experience life in a way that I never allowed myself to do prior to entering college. These are the years that I'm supposed to embark on a journey of self-discovery, so what better way to do that than to create a bucket list?

Keep Reading...Show less
Featured

10 Life Lessons from Christmas Classics

The holiday classics that shaped my life

2806
10 Life Lessons from Christmas Classics
Flickr

The holiday season is full of stress, debt, and forced conversation. While we rush through the month of December, it's important to take a step back and enjoy the moments before they're gone. Most families love to watch Christmas movies, but these beloved films provide more than entertainment. Here are 10 life lessons that I've learned from the holiday classics we watch every year.

Keep Reading...Show less
Featured

15 Mind-Bending Riddles

Hopefully they will make you laugh.

202193
 Ilistrated image of the planet and images of questions
StableDiffusion

I've been super busy lately with school work, studying, etc. Besides the fact that I do nothing but AP chemistry and AP economics, I constantly think of stupid questions that are almost impossible to answer. So, maybe you could answer them for me, and if not then we can both wonder what the answers to these 15 questions could be.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments