Four years ago, I would've argued with my ex about why he wasn't posting pictures of us.

Later on, I realized I was just insecure and not confident within myself, to let myself feel jealous of someone who essentially didn't matter. I would question my self worth and my appearance and I just didn't feel good enough. It would be endless battles with my ex on what he wanted, and if I was ever going to be enough. He plead that no one else ever compared, but it certainly didn't feel that way. It's also safe to say I was in a toxic relationship, and I felt that my ex wasn't posting me on his socials. He ended up cheating.

Now, I can honestly say I don't care for social media validation.

I used to beg my ex to post pictures of us. To feel wanted and shown off to the world that someone was proud to be with me. But, social media is nothing but an altered reality. How much of it is real? I don't need to validate my relationship with pictures on Instagram for people to comment their opinions. I recently had the conversation with my boyfriend about why he hasn't posted any pictures of us since we just came back from a ten day vacation. His respond was, "I normally don't post personal things on my socials but that can change if it means something to you." It's progress towards something new and different, and I'm glad we had the conversation. To know where our relationship stands can be very low-key, and sharing our moments with close friends and family is special. Eventually, we'll share other moments with the rest of the world whenever we decide to do so. I think that makes for a healthy balance, and not something I learned overnight.