Just recently I was at a party and saw this girl standing in the corner of the backyard in a circle, quietly and awkwardly looking around while trying to copy the dance moves of those around her. I remember seeing her somewhere, then I realized that I had stumbled upon her instagram and recognized her from her profile. Then I remember why her profile stood out to me: She had over 1000 followers, every single picture was filtered perfectly, every caption clever, and every comment section full. The cognitive dissonance made sense when I realized her actual personality and persona had absolutely nothing in common with her social media presence and fame. I compared that to another girl at the party who was, as many would describe, “the life of the party”, but rarely posted or cared about who was following her/vice versa.

It is important for me to write this article because I think it keeps me grounded. It reminds me there is more to our relationships than the amount of likes I get on my picture or the amount of Instagram/Twitter followers I have. I admit, I too have gotten caught up on the trend of “Go like my Instagram picture!”. It is a part of our social construct, a part of our constantly evolving and modernizing movement of technology, but is it really what defines who we are and what our relationships pan out to be? The answer to that is, “It should not be”.

To the person with over 700 followers on Instagram or a million friends on Facebook- those numbers do not define who you are, the measure of your popularity, or your status in the eyes of the public. To the person with 50 Instagram followers and 100 friends on Facebook- those numbers do not define who you are, the measure of your popularity, or your status in the eyes of the public.

We spend so much time, picking our instagram filters, thinking of a clever caption, sending those pictures to our close friends asking if it’s cute enough to post, and finally, waiting for that ONE person’s like, their approval, their acknowledgement, that they saw that picture we posted that we were so proud of. But isn’t it absurd... how one person’s double tap on their phone screen creates such a sense of achievement, such a sense of acceptance and boost in self-confidence. On the contrary, it is absolutely ridiculous how we let ourselves break down, get upset, and doubt everything we know about ourselves and our relationships just because we don’t get enough likes from our followers or because we didn’t get enough comments telling us how “pretty” we are or how “on point” our caption is.

The reason I write this is because I want to remind you that these things do not matter in life. Just because that one person doesn’t “like” your picture, doesn’t mean you’re anything less than you are. It doesn’t even mean that your relationship with that person is faltering. The construct created around social media fame often makes us feel that this is the case. It is not. Social media does not portray the genuine conversations we have with people we feel the most with. Those 1K instagram followers won’t come to you when you feel lonely. Just because you’re not “facebook official” or just because you haven’t posted enough pictures, or aren’t updating every single person on snapchat about what you’re up to that night, doesn’t invalidate your actions or feelings. I just see so many of us infatuated with the status we hold on social media. It just scares me to think that this is what we value now. I do want to clarify that I do think social media is great. I keep in touch with family and friends which does make me feel like I’m not thousands of miles away from them. But- we need to realize that there is more to life than our social media. Life isn’t about how many followers we have, how many likes we get, or who we’re friends with online. Life is about the small moments: the real-life conversations we have with those we love and the ones who support us when we’re down. Take some time to turn off your social media, spend time with loved ones, and remind yourself that if you’re going to post, do it for yourself, not for others.