If you don't, or even if you do, have a loved one on this arbitrary day of advertising, I recommend fretting not, for there is something yet to love: the Champions League of soccer! Today, matches with the likes of Barcelona-PSG and Benfica-Dortmund shall be all the chocolate hearts you need.

If you are with bae, you and your loved one can watch said matches together because of your mutual interests in the spectacle followed by carnal relations. If this is the case, you're in the perfect relationship. These relationships make it easy to circumvent the stock responses of tears because he forgot, and blue balls because she's angry, which seem all too real on this day of most meaningless days of obligatory love.

You're single you say? No stress. Take part in watching one of the most prestigious tournaments of the most beloved sport in the world. If you have no one on this day of overpriced roses, adoration is to be had by watching the beautiful game and acknowledging that you are participating in world wide emotion, in a word, love, that would rival even the most well-written Valentine's Day card... even if the card was attached to the ass of a teddy bear, since, ya know, teddy bears are the eternal symbol of everlasting courtship.

Now, since I feel overjoyed with love from sharing this Valentine's Day moment with the world of soccer worshipers, I reckon it's time I remove myself from this article for a match of futbol, arguably the most loving thing a person can do for himself and the world.