As a college student, it can sometimes be difficult to stay away from friends that party. I myself have partying friends, which is extremely fun and great for the social aspect. However, if you have friends that drink when you don't, it can get a little awkward at times. You tend to feel either really left out, or you feel like you fit in, in a strange way. You want to hang out with them for the social aspect, but you don't want to really drink like them, so you just go for fun. If you are reading this, then that means you understand what it's like to be the friend that is the mom or dad, the one that takes care of all of your friends that drink. If you aren't the mom or dad, and you're just the sober one, you'll understand this as well. I think you know what I mean. If you're like me, you are the sober friend.
Let's take a peek into the average night of the sober friend, shall we?
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Friday Night. Festivities begin at 8:00 p.m.
"Okay, this is nice. I look cute, I look ready to mingle, I'm ready to laugh. Everybody else looks cute too."
You start making your way to your friend's room, in a gaggle of your friends.
"This is gonna be fun! Maybe for once I won't regret going out. I mean, right now they plan to drink, they say they're gonna 'get crunk', but they never actually get that bad. Right? Right, yea, we'll be fine!"
Your eyes wander down to the shoes your girlfriends are wearing. A spark of concern flashes across your eyes, but since you are behind them, they can't see it.
"I wonder how the girls are going to be able to navigate the stairs in their heels, though? I mean, I've seen Jill just flat out fall down on a literal flat surface."
You enter your friend's hall.
"Okay cool, the hallway is poppin', I can hear Chaz's music from the stairwell!"
You enter his room, and the music is blasting. Your eyes scan the room and you see a place to sit, far enough away where you won't be in the way.
"I am already regretting this. Okay, just stay calm. It's alllllll gonna be great. Chill your grill. I'll just sit here, all casual. I'm here to have fun, not get stressed out!"
9:00 PM. You haven't moved from your seat yet.
"I really wish they wouldn't ask me to play beer pong."
"Please stop offering me a beer, Trevor."
"It's already been an hour! See, champ? Time flies by fast. In a few hours you can duck out and go to bed."
"Wait a second, I shouldn't be thinking like that."
"How many shots has Aubrey had?"
9:30 PM. You've had to adjust your seat because your friend needed to sit.
"Jackson has already taken his shirt off."
"I thought this was just a pre-game party. I don't game, but I can tell you they're already past the point of BEING IN THE GAME."
"We're in the third quarter here folks, and Jackson is flying high with beer number 4! He takes the pong shot...OH! What a turn of events! The shot failed!"
"Wait."
"Jackson went under the pong table."
"I can understand being disappointed in a crappy pong game, but..."
"Oop, he's up again."
"It's all right folks, Jackson needed a moment to meditate under the table! Will he be able to pull a win out?!"
"Nope."
10:00 PM. You start getting a little antsy.
"I feel like the lone survivor in an apocalypse."
"Trevor needs to stop making me hold his drinks."
"He can't even hold his own drinks for goodness sake."
"If Jill takes one more shot, I'm running for mayor."
"Well, I guess I'm running for mayor now."
10:15 PM. Your friends went to find somebody.
"Where the HECK did Jill go?"
"Where the HECK DID LOLA GO?"
"What do you mean they went to Noah's room?"
"Yes, yes, FINE, I'll go find them. Don't injure yourselves until I get back."
"If I had a nickel for every time..."
"I have no idea where they are."
10:30 PM. You return to the room, a little annoyed.
"I have no idea where they are."
"Do I look miserable? Because I am."
"Why did I come again?"
"I'll try snapchatting somebody so it looks like I'm having a good time."
"Wait, no, Craig, PUT THAT DOWN–"
"Craig just broke a shot glass. Great."
10:45 PM. You took it upon yourself to clean up the shattered glass.
"Everybody wants to leave? To where?!"
"When did Lola come back?"
"Okay, I guess I'm following them outside now."
10:50 PM. You're going to another dorm.
"IT IS FREEZING OUT HERE WHAT THE HECK."
"CRAIG STOP ROLLING IN THE GRASS"
"Nononononono, Jill, don't lay down."
"Tyler if you tell me to calm down one more time, I swear to god."
"What happened to Aubrey and Jackson? I can't find them anywhere, I swear they were just here!"
"Now I need to separate Brett from Jamie so Noah can talk to him."
"Okay, calm down, they just went to the bathroom. It's fine! It's fine."
"Lola if you tell me I'm ruining you going to this party house one more time, I'm sawing your heels OFF. No more stilettos for you."
"Why is Aubrey crying?"
11:00 PM. You didn't make it to the other dorm.
"And here we are. Outside. Everybody's upset. I've lost all control."
"Okay, come on, I never had control of this in the first place."
"We're not going to make it to the party house."
"Correction; they're not."
"You know why? Cause I'm done."
11:15 PM. You give up and go back to your room.
The night ends.
While this dialogue may be a comedic rendition, some of the thoughts are very real. The internal panic of being the sober friend intensifies through the night, because oftentimes, you have no idea what these people are going to do next. So shout out to my compadres who also feel my experiences, as well as my friends because I love that you continue to have fun and enjoy yourselves.
