People think of firefighters as hot guys with their shirts off and the ones who rescue cute little kittens from trees. Well, it's not really like that, sorry to tell you. Firefighters are pretty great though and I'm not just saying that because I'm dating one or because I was raised by one. Firefighters are amazing and sacrifice so much for their communities, including time with their loved ones. Being the girlfriend of a firefighter is a pretty unique experience and takes some getting used to. If you or someone you know is in a relationship with a firefighter or is about to be, here's some heads up...
1. Date nights are not always call free nights.
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You can try your best to set the rules down, but it's not going to always work like that. They signed up for the job for a reason and they will do everything in their power to serve their communities as they protect life and property. You can't be mad at them for long if your dinner date is cut short because of a house fire--- he's doing his job.
2. There is always room for more lights in his POV.
It may be lit up like a Christmas tree, but that 360 view of lights is never complete. They will always look for more lights or new upgrades. Let's not even talk about sirens and such. Needless to say, you always have at least one gift idea for your firefighter.
3. Fire department shirts are their whole wardrobes no matter how many other shirts you buy them.
They will wear a fire department t-shirt at least three days a week and you will not be able to change that---no matter how much money you invest into other shirts or how many times you tried to hide them around the house. It just does not work and that's okay because you'll end up getting your own collection, too.
4. The smell of smoke takes some getting used to and sometimes two rounds of shower to get off.
You will learn to love the smell of smoke on your firefighter, his clothes, his gear, and sometimes his truck. You will love it because it means he came home alive and that's all you can ask for sometimes. You will learn to know that post fire getting ready will take a little longer than normal because that smell loves to stay in hair, but that's okay with you.
5. You will learn the oh-so-special radio language the longer you are together and with this comes the trash talk when another firefighter messes up his radio traffic.
You start to catch on to the 10- codes and the special wordings pretty fast and will most likely start using them in your vocabulary. However, that's okay because he will enjoy it. Knowing that you care enough and listen to what's going on impresses him. However, you will also come to know that he will pick on and possibly even try to play radio police when another firefighter messes up his traffic---learn to laugh and agree with it.
6. You have to expect his gear to either be in the backseat or the toolbox... or both.
You can go to put groceries in the back of his truck and will have to move his gear out of the way or put them on top of the gear. It's bound to happen at least once. It comes with the job. The smell is forever is the truck you will probably try to use every single car freshener that Walmart sells.... I have never found one that works fully.
7. You will be tempted to turn the pager off at night.
Those beeps, tones, and the night shift dispatcher are sounds that take some getting used to, but eventually you will be able to sleep through it. They didn't sign up to run calls just when it's two in the afternoon--- the two in the morning calls are just as important and serious.
8. DO NOT try to make them talk about a call unless they are ready.
I can not stress this enough. Your fighter will see many scenes and patients. Every patient can not be saved and that is out of their control. However, they will try their hardest to save them and when they can't, they'll cry behind closed doors because the four year old little girl who was badly injured in wreck when a drunk driver hit her mother's car reminded them of their sister or the eighty-nine year old man that had a heart attack in his sleep looked just like their grandpa. Give them some time, give them some space, let them talk to you or someone else when they are ready and not a moment before.
9. They will most likely keep their boots in their jeans with the belt on and socks on top at night with a shirt laying nearby. It's a firefighter thing.
This is one of the funniest things to see when you walk into a firefighter's room. This allows them to quickly put on clothes from a dead sleep so they can run to the truck and do their firefighter thing.
10. The trash talk at the station between the guys is going to be pretty nasty---don't take it to heart and learn to laugh.
These guys are indeed brothers. They will talk and act like it. When the jokes get perverted and the trash talk takes a turn to talking about how drunk they got at the fire convention that one year, learn to live with it. It's going be to happen no matter what--- just don't get butt hurt over it. Truth is, you wont even have a name until you have been around long enough. You'll just be "so and so's girlfriend."
11. Department functions are BIG deals.
Weekly trainings? They have to be there. Fundraisers? Gotta be over a section. Parties? Y'all have to be there. Rental hall clean up? He's probably going to talk you into helping with that, too. Let's not even talk about the annual department Christmas party... The fire department is his family and he will do whatever he needs to do to help them and make sure they are prepared for anything.
12. The fire department is a brotherhood like no other and the family of EMS, Police, Fire, and Dispatch is such a strong bond.
It's a strong bond. They have problems and grudges, but once something happens---the bond is never broken. They rally together for the betterment of the family. Brothers and sisters forever in the sacrifices, courage, and commitment that they give.
13. This will not be a normal relationship.
You will face barely made it home alive moments and you will face the side effects of PTSD. You will face the heartbreak and the happy moments.You will face lonesome nights and solo functions. You will be proud of your firefighter through it all and you will find that his sacrifices get overlooked a lot. However, if you both want the relationship, it will work out. I say that because my mother married a firefighter almost twenty years ago and through hard times and two kids, they are still a firefighter strong couple.
Welcome to the thin red line family--- fireproof the relationship and you'll get through anything.
