Blood boiling, tears streaming down your red, pinched face, tense muscles, head throbbing, heart hurting. All the side effects of your best friend stabbing you in the back. It's a new kind of hurt. A hurt where you question so much of everything that previously happened in your life. Was it all a lie? Did she have those ulterior motives all along? You begin to drown in the "what ifs." Sinking deeper and deeper until you hit bottom like the rock your heart now is.
The anger boils down and the more in depth sadness rises. The tense muscles turn into a depressed slouch as you sit in front of your computer, pouring your heart into an article that you hope people can relate to. The anger slightly returns. Why did this happen to you? Maybe you should have listened to other people talk about the easily possible tensions of freshman year. Maybe you should have never "talked" to that boy. Maybe you're the bad guy.
Wrong.
You are strong.
You are capable of pulling yourself back in after that fit of rage. You are no longer blind. You have just been introduced to a whole new world. A world of self awareness, love, friendship, trust, and progression. You have broken down and now you get to start from scratch.
It can be very painful accepting that a long friendship has come to an end. It can also be a relief. Taking yourself out of a situation full of toxicity is hard, but so rewarding in the long run. When one door closes, another opens. It is so important to surround yourself with positive friends who want to lift you up and bring out your best. No more of those, "can we talk?" heart stopping messages, passive aggressive answers, and finally some fresh air.
Now when friendships end, it isn't always about one person being "better" than the other, your two souls just happen to be going on separate paths. It is important to have growing support systems as you grow in life. It is easy to get caught up in all the bad memories that may have cascaded the ending, but it is important to remember that the good outweighs the bad. While you two may no longer be friends, remember all the good times you've had, and all the great memories you can carry for the rest of your life. Positive emotional thinking = positive vibes out to the universe. What goes around comes around.
It is important to talk to someone you trust when going through a friendship breakup, especially if that person was your number one go-to advice giver. I personally went to my mom and as most moms do - I was sent multiple photographs of inspirational quotes, to name a few:
"Holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die." -Buddha
"One of the simplest ways to stay happy is letting go of the things that makes you sad." -Daily Dose
Might seem cheesy, but the messages ring true.
Now it is time for yourself. You've been through so much pain and confusion and betrayal, you deserve a break from the drama. You are a brave soul and that is one thing no one can take away from you.
“Sometimes you must HURT in order to KNOW, FALL in order to GROW, LOSE in order to GAIN, because life's greatest lessons are learned through PAIN.” -Alicia Taylor