It’s that time: Big/Little season. You go on multiple "dates" with older girls trying to meet the perfect one to call your big. You are new to Greek Life and are still trying to adjust, so it can be a stressful and exciting time where the pressure is on to find your perfect match. There are the girls who have no idea who they want their big to be and the girls who met their future big on bid day and have been attached ever since. If you are anything like me you worry that your shyness will get in the way and that you won’t make any meaningful connections. So if you feel like time is running out and you haven’t met the perfect one yet, hang in there, girl, you’ll be just fine.
Here is some reassurance to the girls who might get a random big. My big and I were randomly matched, and she’s my best friend now. In our case, I really liked her grand big; and her grand big really liked me, so we were set up in a way. We were both told to put the other one down as our number one on our list. When we met we were super awkward around each other and we were both so shy that it was hard to get to know each other.
(when we first met. lol at the awkward space between us)
Slowly we were able to build a relationship and realize we were very similar. When we thought about it, we were the same person. So girls who are worried because they didn't know her before reveal, don't be worried. Just be willing to put in some effort. Here is some advice for you.
Go slow. Just like any relationship, building trust and comfortably around one another takes time.
Hang out with each other. You can't build a relationship over texting or Facebook.
Let your guard down.Allow yourself to be a little bit vulnerable so that you can bond.
Make them a killer paddle. I'm just kidding about this one. She'll love you either way.
Go on adventures together. Like to say the haunted abandoned meat packing plant in your college town or on milkshake runs late at night.
(us last year)
In my experience, random bigs make for the best bigs. Lauren and I have been best friends for three years and roommates for two years, and I wouldn't trade her for any one else. If you really are worried about it, here are some reasons why having a random big is the best.
You have the opportunity to meet new people. You may have never met this girl if she didn't become your big! With her will come her big, her grand big, maybe she has a twin, and she most definitely has a friend group! Getting a random big gives you the opportunity to get to know more people in your sorority.
You learn how to develop relationships. In the real world you are going to have co-workers that you did not pick to be your co-workers but that could turn into some of your best friends. Having a random big gives you the opportunity to learn skills for getting to know people better and relationship development.
You gain experience in handling different personality types. Usually chapters are really good at matching personalities, but if this wasn't the case for you, here is a good opportunity to learn from others with different personalities. Maybe your big is outgoing and you are not. You'll have the opportunity to learn from each other and grow as people. Learning how to mesh and adapt with different personality types is another skill that will help you greatly in the real world.
You WILL be loved the same amount as your pledge sister who chose her big. Just because you were randomly matched doesn't mean your big doesn't love you as much as other bigs love their littles. You are loved more than you know. Your big has been as excited to reveal herself to you as you were to find out who she was. I promise you, she loves you A LOT.
Sometimes random matches work out better than other matches. Like I said, my big and I were random and she is my best friend now. We are closer than a lot of big/little duos in our chapter and I couldn't imagine anyone else being my big. Though we had a slow start we were able to grow together, teach each other a lot, and have so many good times.
(recruitment fall 2015)
So littles if you are freaking out over not knowing who you want your big to be, or if you already got a random big, take a breath. Trust that your chapter matched you for a reason, and let your big spoil you rotten. Your first year in your sorority is going to be amazing. To the girls reading this who do know who they want to be their big, and they get her, they are loved too and their first year will be awesome also.