When I was 16 years old, I was adopted. Upon hearing this, many people think "why even bother [getting adopted] if you're two years from being an adult" It's not that I wanted to wait so long, the process of being adopted just takes a little while.
When girls in my school heard I was getting adopted or that I was adopted, they were rude. Saying things like "You were never loved by your REAL mom", "Someone had to buy their love for you," "sucks that you weren't wanted," or "what does it feel like to be in a home where you never really belonged?" Yeah, hearing those things come out of some girls' mouths hurt like hell, and at the same time I knew saying something to them would be a waste of my time.
But here's the thing, all of those mean girls didn't understand how much every single thing they had to say cut me deep. I already knew that my biological mother didn't love me. No someone didn't have to buy their love for me, adoption isn't "buying love," it's making someone who is missing a part of their life and heart feel that missing part become complete. The home that I was raised in might not have been the picture-perfect home, but it was a home where I was wanted and loved, no it didn't consist of my "mother" but it did consist of the woman that took me in as hers and loved me endlessly since.
Truth is, biological parents mean nothing if they weren't in your life for a length of time. Sure, if it wasn't for them you wouldn't be here in this world, but do they love you? Did they ever prove their love for you? Did they make you feel wanted by them? For me all of those questions are pretty easy to answer, no. I did not feel loved by my "father" and "mother," how could I when they weren't in the picture much anyways? Not once did they ever prove their love for me, they were never there for me like most parents should be, I was left by my "mother" when I was in the third grade because she thought it was best for me, so I didn't have to leave my friends, when in reality I did anyways. I did not feel wanted by them, instead, I felt like a burden, having my older sister and neighbor practically raise me.
I am now 20 years old and am the happiest I could be. I was adopted at 16 years old by the greatest person ever. I was not a complete stranger to her, when I was a baby she was in college and would take me to college with her on weekends, THAT shows me the LOVE she has for me. Even though she was so young, she took me in like I was hers. She never treated me any differently and she always told me she loved me no matter what. She became not only my mother but she ended up being my father role too. Once I got older and got more self-opinionated, I lost the guy I called "father," although it sucks not having that father-daughter relationship, I don't have someone that continually lied to me and my family about everything, and continued to tell my siblings that I wasn't adopted.
Having to explain my adoption to my younger siblings was hard enough, and making them understand it completely was even harder, and having it brought back up and being asked again about it was like Deja Vu. Being adopted is nothing to be ashamed of, it's something that some go through to find the missing piece to their heart called Family. I am so blessed and thankful that I found my missing piece when I was 16.
