Recently, I just realized that there's less than a month until I move back to college. Don't get me wrong, I'm excited to see friends and be on campus and everything in between. I'm excited to delve deeper into the world of the university and into my major. But here's my deal: I'm still scared.
I'm sure that if you talk to any college freshman going somewhere new and on their own, they'll likely tell you that one of their biggest fears is making friends or somewhere along the spectrum. And I, like many others, experienced some of this fear coming to life this past year. It wasn't great, but the important part is that I got through it. I'm taking on a new year, thankfully with friends by my side. I'm looking forward to branching out, knowing more about my campus/home and being more adventurous. What I am not looking forward to is the homework. Of course, this sounds like number one in every student's list of dislikes, but for once I'm scared about my schoolwork. It's a larger load, a new year and harder work, but with it comes more exciting courses.
In all of this though, what I'm trying to say won't be broken down into two words. It isn't that I'm afraid of an incompetency on my behalf; it's that I won't have time to slow down and enjoy life. It's that while it's important to accomplish what I'm doing in college to succeed later in life, I'm nervous that this will take away from my life in general. I won't be able to just lounge around, go to meetings or even keep up with all of my work, including writing for Odyssey. But in all of this, I know that the only person who can get me through this is myself. I put myself here, I'll get myself through it (maybe with a little help along the way).
But all of this weight about life is normal. Right?
We all focus too much on what's directly in front of us to appreciate what's around us, or even look out for ourselves. I was recently told that I'm really observant. Don't get me wrong, it's a part of myself that I love - being able to look around myself and see and value the little things in life - but it's also a part of me that sometimes clouds over and is oblivious to things even right in front of myself that I miss what's happening.
Although, in all of my fear, I find strength. I find courage to be adventurous and energetic and brave to face whatever comes into my path. With these in mind and knowing all of the fear that sits on a ledge behind me threatening to push me off, I am confident that while it may not be the easiest, I'm taking this year in stride. I'm pushing through the fear and excitement and looking forward to a year full of new things. A year that will push me and help me grow in who I'm slowly evolving to be. I may have just realized that my time home is coming to a temporary end, but I also know that what lies ahead will reveal a path designed for me. I know that life comes and goes. It changes and we evolve. Fear lies ahead of you, wherever you go. Any emotion, even joy, will be pushed away to only be replaced when it comes to new adventures.
With confidence and friends by my side, I know that the path that's laid out before me won't be so bad. It's normal to be afraid of new adventures, even ones that don't seem as important, but always remember to take time and look around you. Be observant, space out every once in a while and don't let fear threaten who you are or how you live life.
