Let me set the scene for you. I'm in costume, ready to go on, and I start sneezing.

One. Two.

Okay. It's over. Just in time, I'm stepping onstage and the sneezes stop.

Thank goodness.

I step into the stage lights, ready to successfully act.

And then the snot bubbles start.

Is it allergies? Is it nerves? Stress?

I don't know, but what I do I know is that there is nasal fluid running from my nose, down my face, probably glistening in the light and making a SCENE when I'm supposed to be doing a scene.

What do I do?

I can't wipe my nose for fear of causing a distraction or spreading my disgusting snot all over the stage.

I disgustingly even tried to slurp up my snot in a desperate moment. Didn't work.

I wait until I turn around to go upstage and my worst fears come true.

I wipe my nose and SNOT EVERYWHERE.

It's on my hand, it's on my costume, it's on my props.

There's quite the crowd, I know for a fact that the theatre critic from the newspaper is in the audience, so clearly there couldn't be a better day for this to happen. (Read: I want to die.)

So there I go. I head offstage to wipe my nose and pretend it didn't happen.

It could have been worse.