Snapstreaks may seem like a cute and innocent way to stay connected with friends and family via Snapchat — you send a snap to someone every day and are rewarded with a fire emoji and log of how many consecutive days you’ve done so.
It’s a quick and simple way to show that you care, right?
It shows your commitment to snapping someone every single day. All you do is send one picture a day via Snapchat to someone. It doesn’t even have to be a good picture of anything important!
As convenient as this method may be, it shouldn’t be used to define how committed you are to any relationship.
Why let a number validate how committed you are to a relationship?
I mean, if I want to get specific, I could say that I’ve had communication of some kind with my mother every day of my life. That’s 19 years, eight months and 22 days, a total of 7,208 days, as of January 31, 2018.
WHO CARES?
OK, I cared enough to calculate that for this article (thanks for the help, Google).
The point is, numbers shouldn’t be used to define our commitment to our relationships.
While some numbers can be significant, like anniversaries, they shouldn't be used to validate commitment.
Dana Adam Shapiro’s book “You Can Be Right (or You Can Be Married)” explains how very few married individuals are happy. Shapiro himself concludes that only 17 percent of married couples are happy.
You might be committed to someone when you look at the days in terms of numbers, but are you both happy?
I recently lost a Snapstreak with a friend and filed a report with Snapchat to see if anything could be done to regain the Snapstreak. This is when I realized how flawed my thinking was.
I don’t need a number to tell me how many days I’ve talked to my friend.
What matters is that I am committed to having actual conversations with people, not how many days in a row that we’ve talked.
I often see my friends posting screenshots of their Snapstreaks to their stories. I find myself wondering if these are true friendships or merely Snapstreak friendships.
While both can be considered friendships, I do not believe that the Snapstreak friendships should be considered true friendships.
Are you sending snaps just to keep a Snapstreak going or are you having a real, meaningful conversation with the person?
I’m not saying you need to talk about all the problems in your life, your life history or your deepest fears. However, it might not hurt to explore conversations that branch outside of small talk.
As tempting as it may be to send a snap asking what someone is doing this weekend, maybe try asking instead what they're looking forward to this weekend.
Sometimes, simply rephrasing what you say can lead to a deeper conversation.
Another problem with sending snaps is that you may not fully understand the meaning of what has been said.
When you cannot see or hear the other person, you cannot hear the tone of their voice or see their body language, so even if you are trying to have a meaningful conversation, it is easy to misunderstand what is said via text.
Even if you can see and/or hear the other person, it is easy to hide your tone of voice and body language in a 10 or even up to 60-second snap with filters.
If you’re truly committed to a relationship, commit yourself to being honest with the other person. Don’t hide behind a filter or written message.
Whether what you have to say is positive or negative, it will have much more impact if the other person can at least genuinely hear the tone of your voice when you say it.
You may be committed to your relationship with someone else, but are you committed to making sure they understand you?
If you want to show commitment to a relationship, try focusing less on validating your commitment with a number and more on the actual commitment you have to that person.
