Picture this: you were so tired last night you set your alarm for 7:30 pm instead of 7:30 am. In the morning you wake up at 7:45 am. You have class at 8:00 am. You’re rushing around in the dark, throwing on any clothes that sort of match. Forget that shower you were going to take or the nice breakfast you had planned because you need to get to class.

You run out your dorm-room door to be greeted by the morning cleaning crew. You’re slowed up by this unexpected speed bump but gather your bearings and run out of the main entrance.

Finally, it’s 7:55 and you’re on the path to class.

Then you hit them. You hit the slow walkers.

They’re walking three deep across the path and there’s no way to get around. You try to politely step into the road but one gets pushed by his friend in front of you. The seconds are ticking down before you’re officially late to class as these slow walkers are continuing their morning stroll.

“Don’t they have class?” you ask yourself. Of course they do. They don’t care. You check your clock again. It’s 8:01 am. You’re officially late.

What’s the point now? You fall into place with the rest of the slow walkers and accept your fate.

But the question arises: why do people walk so slowly? And why do they always seem to find their way in your path when you’re rushing around?

Some excuses for slow walkers are acceptable: short legs, broken limbs, and maybe a heavy book bag. If you’re perfectly healthy with long legs and nothing is dragging you down, there’s no obvious reason to be walking slower than the leaves skidding across the asphalt.

Slow walkers also might be made of a different substance. Whenever you try to maneuver around them, the group of them seems to expand like gelatin. You can choose to rudely break through the gelatin or suffocate slowly in the gloopy mess as you think about how late you’re going to be.

Walking slow is an epidemic that does not discriminate. It affects people of all ages, races, and genders.

Some symptoms are:

• Constantly late to everything
• Noticing people are walking around you constantly
• Your friends are always telling you to catch up
• A baby just crawled past you

If you or one of your friends think he/she is a slow walker, consult your peers for advice.

Conclusion: Slow walkers are not appreciated by anyone. Don’t be that person.