Valentine's Day is just a little over a month away. Since the day after New Year's, stores have covered their walls in nothing but pink and red hearts. Shelf after shelf after shelf is like a chocolate overload, and red roses are now becoming way overpriced.
I'll be the first one to say that I've had my fair share of interests in boys. I've been on some dates with a handful of guys, consisting of drinks, watching a movie, or just sitting in the middle of a park and ride talking about life (those are actually the best kind of dates, for future reference... spontaneity at it's finest).
After one or a few dates though, the guys always seem to fade away. I then get upset, say that I'm okay or that I'm fine, and keep going on with my day. I know that it's not the healthiest way to get over it, but it's just what I do. One of my best guy friends, who can be is a pain 85% of the time, triggered me to come to a conclusion today. Him and I were talking about relationships, and how I'm always the one getting burned. I do everything I can to keep the relationship afloat. I make the effort, but sometimes I don't get that in return, and it's a tough pill to swallow. He then proceeded to go on and reassure me that this isn't my fault, and that I just haven't found my person yet. When he said that, everything clicked. The lightbulb in my head went off: The most important thing you can ever do before you love anyone else, is to love yourself.
Sounds simple, right? But, I am the type of person that will put everyone ahead of myself. I care more about my friends' and family's happiness before my own. I make sure that all my ducks are in a row before I can worry about myself. But today, I am promising myself that my happiness is going to take precedence. I have to love who I am, in my own skin, and be proud of myself, and truly fall in love with who I am before I try to have anyone fall in love with me. As Carrie Bradshaw once said, "Don't forget to fall in love with yourself first."
If you're like me, this is going to be a struggle. If you're like me, sometimes you can't see how wonderful you really are. Here are a few ways I thought up to make myself really love me and to make me happy, and hopefully they help you too!
1. Start a compliment jar. Compliment jars are one of my all-time favorite things. Decorate a jar however you like, and ask some of your friends to write compliments down about you and what makes you unique and beautiful. Have them throw it in the jar, and when you're having a bad day, take out a few and read them!
2. Go for a random drive with no destination. There's nothing better than heading out for a random drive. It'll just be you and the wide open road. Put on your favorite radio station or play your favorite playlist, and clear your head of all negativity. You will feel so much more relaxed once you go back home.
3. Go to a pet store and play with the animals. Go to your local pet store and ask to play with the cats and dogs. It'll make your heart so happy. You'll see either the dogs' tails wagging or the cats will be purring. Animals love you know matter what is going on inside your mind or in your life, so this is definitely a must do.
4. Get a guilty pleasure tv show and watch. it. constantly. Find a show that you can mindlessly watch, and even a show can make you feel better about yourself sometimes. For me, I am obsessed with The Bachelor. Monday nights at 7:59 PM EST, you better believe I am on my couch with snacks and a blanket draped over me watching the "most dramatic show" on television. I've also been watching the DVD's of One Tree Hill. I've never watched it before until now and if you need a show to binge watch, I promise you won't be disappointed.
5. Surround yourself with people that love you to the moon and back. We all have those friends, right? The ones that are always there to pick you up when you fall, to cry to at the end of an emotional day, or the ones that as soon as you say you're hungry they'll show up at your door with a pizza. But, then you have those other so called 'friends': The friends that when you text them they never text back, the ones who could care less about your problems... they're the ones that only want you when they need help. Those kind of friends need to get kicked to the curb. Like I've said before, I'm a major people pleaser and I would hate to see any of my friends upset with me or even mad at me. To justify that, I know I need to redefine my definition of what a friend is. If you surround yourself with caring and compassionate people who love you despite your flaws and imperfections, you are destined to be on the happy trail.
I want to challenge you. I want to challenge you to do one (or all) of these things this week. I want you to go play with that cat at the pet store. I want you to go start a group text with your friends and ask them to pick a night to make compliment jars together. I want you (as hard as this sounds) to really think critically about who you surround yourself with. We only live once, right? So let's make the best of it.
The key to a happy life is to truly love yourself. Once that happens, there will be an endless amount of nothing but positives vibes ahead.
