She was coming out of it, she could feel the room around her trying to wake her.
A cold hard floor, white walls and a single small window to her right.
As she opened her eyes she saw the eggshell colored ceiling as the light bounced off the identical colored walls, impairing her vision.
She blinked several times before she shot up in a cold sweat.
Now sitting vertically, her heart pounding so loud as if it were trying to tell her a secret from across the room, she panned her surroundings.
Nothing.
No one.
Just her.
She grabbed her stomach and thighs to search for wounds, traces of any blood leading to injury. She checked her head and arms as well, nothing. She felt a dull pain, but could not pin point the location, it is everywhere and no where all at once. She leaves it be for she is distracted by the fact she does not know where she is, or how she got there.
She struggles to stand but musters up the strength. Standing up now on her pair of sea legs, she walks from one corner to the other diagonally back and forth. She feels as if she should be in a panic and yet she is calm.
She then realizes she had not looked out the single small window. She walks in a swift scurry and peers out.
What she finds is remarkable.
She sees herself. And those she loves in all the hard times they've ever faced. They play from the beginning, like a film. All her family and friends and strangers she ever encountered, she sees them one by one. As each time period progresses, as her friends change as her homes change, it is all played out in a sequence and then all at once.
As she is watching from inside the eggshell room, tears start to build in her eyes, as her life is being played like a montage in front of her, she realizes something. There seems to be a time where she stops seeing herself in this film before her. She watches as her friends lives play out.
The tears that have welled in her eyes start to flood down her ivory skin staining the eggshell room floor. She finds that in every scenario, her loved ones proceed to the next scene and she stays frozen.
Her friends move on, but she does not.
Stuck existing in each moment over and over again, as her loved ones make it out of frame and continue their lives as she stays frozen in time. She is dizzy now, for she has been chasing her loved ones with her eyes to see where they end up and how she can go as they go, how she can move on as they move on.
Nothing is making sense and it drives her completely mad. Screaming and mourning over the loss of control she falls heavily to the ground, it is cold as ever.
Through her hysteria she's brings her self to an unconscious state where she sees a familiar figure.
A young woman.
This young woman leads her, weaving through her friends and family, through time and space it feels like, hand and hand they are rushing trying to get to a destination.
They run into a room.
As soon as they walk in, a bright light shines and she sees the young woman's face . She is stunned. For it is herself. Her reflection, still holding her hand, speaks to her and points to her chest. The mirror image is speaking but it is muffled.
She is trying to read her lips, and makes out, " Save Our Souls".
As she screams out in confusion, her reflection begins to speak clearer. She screams for more; more clarity, more resolution, more comfort and less pain.
As she is screaming the young woman begins to leave. Unable to follow, she falls to the ground on her back.
She awakens to a cold hard floor and an eggshell ceiling, a single small window, her heart beating so loud as if it were trying to tell her a secret from a cross the room, and a familiar pain.
Only this time the pain is stronger and her heartbeat is louder she clutched her chest and tries to cover her ears for the beating is just too loud to bare. She bring her self to her feet and goes to the window.
Only to find nothing.
Now, it is just her.
She wanted to see her friends and loved ones.
She wanted the scenarios to replay again and again so she could live in those moments with them and she wished for them to return.
She began to weep and her head fell down in grief.
The pain grew and grew and her heartbeat became louder as she continued to wish.
She looked up to find her reflection looking back at her.
And as she stared at herself she began to make light of what the young woman did for her.
What she did for herself.
She put herself here.
In this eggshell room, for protection from her own self. From her past self. For her present and future self. The young woman who put others before her and never went back and picked up her own pieces, only the pieces of others.
She put her self in this eggshell room, for her own good. So she could learn and heal.
"Save Our Soul" She recalled her reflection saying.
All this time she was begging herself to save and be saved for the life she had been living, a life she had been living for others, although comfortable, it was indeed destructive. She had been afraid of being alone, but maybe that is what she needs. To be stuck in a room by her lonesome, to only listen to her thoughts and her wants and her needs.
She never did see her reflection again, for it is not the same nor will it ever be.
