If I could receive a dollar for every time I've heard couples or brides stressing over their wedding day having to be "perfect", I would be a very rich woman. Weddings weren't always these elaborate productions that we're use to seeing today. During the 19th century, people began to marry for love and with it came a small intimate gathering filled with their love ones. I can't pinpoint when the shift began, but the change is rather startling. Despite the growing number of Millennials choosing to not get married, there is still a steady stream of couples getting hitched.
There are various reasons to get married. Some couples do it for religious reasons. Some do it to please their parents. And some do it to fulfill their old childhood fantasies. There is some truth to the statement of "every little girl dreams about their perfect wedding."
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And that's great. But now-a-days wedding ceremonies are incredibly expensive. According to costofwedding.com, a website dedicated to helping brides and grooms plan their perfect wedding, the average wedding in the United States cost about twenty-seven thousand. Not including the honeymoon. It also doesn't take into account the price variety in different states. For example, Boston is an incredibly expensive city to hold a wedding compared to Seattle, Washington. Here's a further break down of where exactly your money would typically go to on the big day:http://www.costofwedding.com
If you suffered a minor heart-attack after looking at those figures, you're not alone.
Our culture is obsessed with having the best stuff in our lives to show how successful and happy we are and while that's fine, in reality we don't have the money or hours to be able to pull that off successfully. How many brides have said after the wedding has past that everything was a blur? Or that they were so anxious to have everything go off without a problem, they felt like they were running on adrenaline and nothing else?
That's a terrible way to start a marriage.
If marriage is really about taking the next step and celebrating your eternal love, skip the elaborate wedding. Have a civil ceremony or a really small wedding if it's that important to you, but I think the true key to celebrating a new life together is by planning the perfect honeymoon.
Much like the idea of marriage, Honeymoons have slowly been losing their appeal over the years. It was once an important tradition that allowed newly-weds, usually virgins, to spend a week or two getting to know each other sexuality and figure out if the relationship will work. Now that most people are pretty open about their sexuality, the honeymoon is considered an expensive, unnecessary vacation.
Absolutely not true!
There is a reason why many married couples stress the importance of having a honeymoon. Not only do the newly-weds spend a vacation alone together, but it also gives them the opportunity to devote quality time together without any external influences. In this day and age, "busy" and "stress" is part of every Americans' vocabulary. Overworked, underpaid, and overstuffed with bills to pay, wouldn't it be nice to get away from everyone and everything and just enjoy your new spouse and the new life you are creating together?
At the same time, it allows you to explore a new side of your spouse. Everyone has a place or places that they always wanted to visit, but never got the chance to. Here you're given the chance to fulfill both of your dreams and create new memories together as a married couple. I think your kids would appreciate more hearing stories about you traveling into a foreign country than hearing about the time Uncle Tim had too much to drink at the reception.
It's also the lesser of two evils. The average honeymoon, according to a 2010 survey from the Knot, is around 4,466 dollars. That's not taking into account the wedding packages and couple deals that are common in sites like Groupon and Destinationweddingmag. And if you're still thinking that it's too expensive, you could always start a Honeymoon registry. Just because you aren't having a "traditional" wedding, doesn't mean that your friends and family can't celebrate with you.
It's the happiest day of your life. Shouldn't you want it to be stress-free? Shouldn't you want to focus on celebrating with your spouse about the new direction your lives are heading? Shouldn't you focus on being in love?
Then consider skipping the wedding and saving the honeymoon.
