We all have that one person in our lives whom we are inadvertently acquainted with. Whether it’s walking down the halls at school or going to work five minutes before the shift begins; that one person that we say only hello or good morning to, but never connect with. It’s never crossed our mind who they go home to at night or what they do in their free time. We all operate on our daily mindset: wake up, get ready, go to work or school, have a few noteworthy chats, go home, and go to bed. The topic of relationships and what meaningful conversation looks like has been on my mind for the past few weeks so I decided to unpack what significant discussion genuinely is.

Before I go into what small and ‘big’ talk is, I thought it would be accurate to have some substantial conversations with some of my peers. I asked about twenty people, “If you were going to die tomorrow, what would you do today?” The overwhelming response that I got was that people would spend their time with their family, and those who made a significant impact on their life. The last question I asked was, “What is meaningful conversation and what does it look like to you?” Some opinions that my friends, family, and peers revealed to me were it’s not surface level; it is encouraging, purposeful, intentional, and you often leave remarkable conversations feeling full. This lead me to think about what I personally see as significant conversation and what I believe about relationships that impact me.

Small talk is sometimes necessary; I always ask a person I’m getting to know what music they like because that’s undeniably needed. However, I find surface level conversation tedious and almost boring. Personally, ‘big’ talk always leaves me with a new understanding and perspective about how people operate and what’s important to them. I enjoy discovering interesting qualities or characteristics that others don’t know about them, or what they are motivated to accomplish. If I was supposed to die tomorrow, today I would spend it with those people that have impacted me. I would explain to those people why they were such an influential part of my life. Also, I would want those significant people to understand how and why they are so important to me. So, if I was going to die tomorrow, if we all were, why would we bother with small talk?

Meaningful relationships encourage growth in me. Throughout my life I encountered individuals who influenced me to pursue constructive values, and those who did not. Likewise, I’ve gone through times where life wasn’t as bright, but I’ve had experiences much more cheerful and vivid. I began to recognize that not only I was moved by those positive times; I also grew immensely from those periods that were overwhelmingly difficult. Those individuals modeled to me what it looks like to an honest, authentic person, as well as equipped me to challenge and overcome my adversities. Today, I do my best to encourage and be a meaningful, genuine person to everyone. I find myself to be a more joyful, as well as being more present in everyday life.

What does meaningful “mean” to you? What have you conquered because someone else was there for you? Who are those individuals for you and why are they significant? If you died tomorrow, would you want to them to understand their role in your life? Amidst the chaos of finals and Christmas, think about those who have transformed you. Search for ways to start meaningful relationships with others. You never know how you might help someone through a difficult time. Just a ‘hello’ or ‘good morning’ in class or after work, won't always cut it.