To the incoming freshman, I congratulate you. You made it through what most people consider being the hardest 4 years of your life. High school tested your self-esteem, morals, and values.Through the heartbreaks and the mishaps in friendships to the times you didn’t get that high enough score on the AP exam or SAT. High school was hard, but you managed to find that light at the end of tunnel.
You’re now planning what to bring to college. It would be silly for me to even to question if you have a board on your pinterest filled with dorm ideas, because shamelessly, I had one too. The ideas of how you want your room to be set up.
“Does this container drawer look tacky?”
“Can I add some Lily Pulitzer paper inside of it to make it less tacky?”
“Oh, what if we got a rug to match it. Then it wouldn’t look so bad.”
“Maybe add a cute chair in it so when I have company over they don’t have to sit on my bunk bed.”
“That reminds me, I DEFIANTLY need a comforter bed set to match everything.”
You’ll come to find out that the list goes on and on. The list never really ends. But you’ll print out that college checklist because everything on that list is essential.
There’s a few other things on that list that you won’t find though.
1. Patience
You’ll need to pencil in patience on your list. If you’re time slot to move-in is in August, you’re going to need to remember that it’s hot. When it get’s hot, you sweat. Your parents will be sweating too while you move-in. Heck, 300+ people will be sweating moving in on that day. What happens when people get sweaty? They get uncomfortable and miserable. So keep that in mind when your Mom wants something to be a certain way but you have other thoughts about it. Have the patience to let your parents do whatever they want with your stuff. You’ll have the place to yourself for 9 months. You can change it later.
2. Understanding
This is something you might want to put on your list at the bottom. Understanding isn’t something you’ll be able to check off the list right away. It’s something you’ll want to maybe highlight on the list as a reminder. A reminder to try to understand other people’s feelings. You’ll learn some of it on your first day of classes. You’ll learn what teachers expect from you for the semester and what you should expect from yourself. You’ll learn that there are other ways to go about situations. That your roommate really does know what she’s talking about, you were just too stubborn because you’ve always thought your way is the right way. You’ll start to realize that John 13:7 had it right on the money:
Jesus replied, “You don’t understand what I’m doing now, but someday you will.”
3. Testing
You can sharpie, circle, capitalize, underline or whatever you want you put ‘testing’ on the list. Tests will be the biggest obstacles you face in college. College exams are like nothing you’ve ever taken in your life. They will break your heart ten ways to Sunday. And then on Sunday, you’ll spend your entire night cramming for that exam in the morning. There’s no other way to put it; tests suck. Don’t check it off your list after your calculus exam though. You’re going to be tested outside of school. You’re going to be tested on your values. Tested to see if you’ll crack under pressure and wipe out those morals you once set for yourself. Times are going to come where you have to make choices. And there won’t always be the option to pick “B”. You’ll have to decide on which doors need to be closed and which ones need to be opened.
4. Failure
Don’t let your ego get in front of this, go ahead and add ’failure’ in red to the list. You will fail. Those choices you made, they will affect you and can fail you. The ideology used to pick an answer on a test by either “When in-doubt, always pick B” or my personal favorite “Eenie, Meenie, Miney, Mo” will fail you. You’ll get back that calculus test you studied so hard for and in that instant you’ll feel your whole world slowly crumble. And in some cases, life will add in some more moments of failure. The friendships you tried to keep or when you let people down or even times when the values you set, you broke. Failure is painful. There’s also a sick twisted side to failure that makes it beautiful. There’s a beauty in failing because you meet wisdom and understanding when you’re at rock bottom. You see how imperfectly perfect you’re made. You see that failure is essential to growing. You’ll learn more about your flaws and work at them. You'll learn what not to do next time.
Like Rascal Flatts sings, “You find God’s grace, in every mistake.”
5. Happiness
I’d draw a smiley face next to this one on the list. And if you’re really into lists, write happiness about 364 more times. You’ll find that life is better happy. Whether you aced the heck outta that calculus test or Starbucks spelled your name right on the cup or that 8 A.M got cancelled. PTL. Find ways to be happy every single day. Let go of expectations you may not have reached and realize this journey is a beautiful ride. You’re going to have stressful days, but spend 30 minutes looking up puppy videos on vine. You’re going to be clouded with confusion and disappointment, pop open that Bible and read your favorite verse to remind you that God has your life under control. You’re going to feel hurt from people, but luckily John Mayer or Adele might have a song for you. Find happiness in other ways. Find happiness when you uplift and encourage your friends. Find happiness when you watch your stressed roommate walk in to a clean place. Find happiness when you're leaving Chickfila and the waiter says "my pleasure." Just find happiness in the little things.
6. Faith
Like those above, they’re all optional to put on your list. But I hope you’ll put faith on the top of your checklist in bold. You’re not going to gain all of the above over night. You’re going to gain them through trial and error, challenges, and daily obstacles. There are two things certain in this world:
- There will be uncertainty.
- There will always be God’s love.
I’m sure I’ve said this above, but I’ll say it again, your going to have hard times. But you choose how you want to spend the hard times. In those times, and really in anytime, press into Our Lord. In some ways:
You’ll feel lost at times, but find refuge under God’s wing.
You’re going to feel like your day couldn’t get any worse, but keep your eyes above the waves.
You’ll feel stressed and insecure, but get led to the rock that is higher than you.
You’ll feel confused, but give your delights to The Lord.
When you need to vent, cry out to Him.
Pray for one’s who hurt you. Forgive them because God’s forgiven you.
Put your trust in Him and let Him shape your life.
When you get to college, you'll realize that there is no ultimate list. There's no successful way to prepare you. But that's the joy of college.You get to embrace the next four years of your life with an open mind. You'll find out your purpose in life and grow into the kind of person you want to be.
