Let's talk about love!

In the modern day, our society has constructed the concept of “love” as being mostly romantic. Intimacy and cheesy gestures make people feel happy and fulfilled. People idealize about the idea of love because of movies, media, and television as well as to assimilate into the mainstream culture, which is what we think is right. However, not everyone experiences the same love. Once upon a time, a long time ago, sociologist/psychologist John Alan Lee came up with the idea that there are many more styles of love rather than just one. In his book Colours of Love: An Exploration of the Ways of Loving (1973), Lee introduced the idea of other types of love, of which more information can be found here.

So, does our popular culture portray the other types of love besides romantic love, known as Eros love? Here are the six styles of underrated love that can be seen in movies and TV shows.

1. Eros (The Romantic Love)

The most popular love! It is when the love is passionate and all about chemistry. This is the love where physical beauty matters a lot. In other words, this love consists of hopeless romantics, butterflies in your stomach, intense feelings, and ‘love at first sight'. This is the new phase of a relationship, but beyond this phase, there might not be anything such as meaningful communication or long lasting commitment. After a while, the attraction can start to fade away. It is fun, easy, everything is happy, and that is why this type of love is the ideal fantasy hence proving its depiction throughout the mainstream media. However, Eros love can turn into something meaningful as time goes.

Some examples from popular culture are:

Jack and Rose from Titanic

Jack: This is crazy

Rose: I know it doesn’t make any sense..that's why I trust it.

Romeo from Romeo and Juliet

Romeo: Did my heart love till now? Forswear it, sight. For I never saw true beauty till this night.

Derek and Meredith from Grey’s Anatomy

2. Ludus (The Playful Love)

This is a type of love where everything is a game and where people have multiple partners, no commitment, and open relationships. They move on from one relationship to another quickly without any guilt. For Ludic lovers, everything is a challenge or a conquest.

Some of the characters that portray the Ludic style are:

Joey from Friends

Jamie from Friends with Benefits

3. Storge (The Friendship Love)

Storge is the affectionate love. It starts as a friendship after which the bond deepens and slowly turns into love. There is care in this relationship, and it doesn't have to be romantic. People have spent a long time with each other before turning their friendship into romantic love. Unlike Eros, it lacks passion. In this kind of love, the person would want their partner to be their best friends as well. Even if the romantic relationship ends, Storge lovers can go back to being friends. Eros love can turn into Storge.

Some examples are:

Hermione and Ron from the Harry Potter series

Joey and Rachel from Friends

4. Pragma (The Practical Love)

This is the practical love. People are logical when it comes to pragmatic love; they base their love on what they are getting out of the relationship. They have a checklist to find a person who might meet their requirements, and this relationship is typically seen in arranged marriages. This kind of relationship may begin on very little passion or emotional intimacy but that may change and evolve over time as the bond deepens.

An example is:

The Proposal

5. Mania (Obsessive Love)

Also known as madness in Greek. Jealousy, obsession, possessiveness all fall under mania. This love style is extreme and could end up being harmful or out of control.

Some examples are:

Fatal Attraction

The Boy Next Door

6. Agape (Altruistic Love)

This love is selfless and unconditional; it never demands anything in return and is full of compassion.

An example is:

The Pursuit of Happyness

Which one have you experienced or observed?