We’ve all experienced that nervous, yet exciting feeling of dating someone new. The excessive amounts of time of applying makeup, fixing hair, and changing shirts dozens of times trying to find THE perfect outfit. We’ve found ourselves thinking (even worrying!) about how the conversation will go. Will there be awkward silence or will the dialogue flow easily? And, we’ve all looked back at previous relationships and wondered, “Why did I say that,” or “Why did I do that?” You always want to keep your relationship exciting without running of out of spark within the first few months, and it’s sometimes hard to find that balance. But here are a few suggestions to keep in mind while preparing yourself for dating someone new!
1. Say what’s on your mind
We all would love it if a person could just know what we want, but unfortunately that doesn’t always happen; therefore, verbal skills are key! Be yourself and don’t be afraid to speak your mind. Keeping your real thoughts to yourself only masks your true thoughts and personality – and causes problems down the road. Hiding your opinions and viewpoints in the beginning just because you think he/she won’t like them is a bad idea. So, say what you’re thinking. If they don’t like it, then they are probably not a good match for you anyway.
2. Don’t cling
When you’re in a new relationship, it’s exciting to see your significant other often. Still, some downtime (and friend time) is great too. Space takes you a long way and not feeling obliged to spend every second with each other makes the relationship more thrilling and relaxing. Plus, seeing each other after a day or two apart keeps the spark alive, right? The bottom line…don’t confuse wanting to spend time together with needing to spend time together. There’s a difference.
3. Take turns picking up the tab
It’s nice having the other person pay for things, but when you take turns paying for dinner or for dates, it makes the relationship more balanced. This will also prevent one of you from feeling taken advantage of. It will also keep the other person from feeling like they are indebted to the other. Sometimes, you could even agree to go “dutch” – each paying for your own meal/movie ticket/entertainment. Dating is expensive – and if it becomes too much of a financial burden on one person, the relationship could suffer. So, agree up front that you’ll both share the financial responsibility!
4. Take a genuine interest
Being asked “how’s your day going” or “how you are” is nice, but asking such general questions just because there is nothing else to say is, well…boring. Instead of asking, “How was your day,” ask, “What was your favorite thing that happened today?” This will make your significant other open up more to you and will, once again, make the relationship more comfortable. It also shows that you are interested in the specifics of their life. Also, giving him/her the chance to elaborate will help you learn more about them. Think about the level of interest you want your boyfriend/girlfriend to take in your life, and then extend that same courtesy!
5. Get creative with dates
While having a night at home and watching a movie is nice, it can get old if it becomes too much of a habit. Maybe try a drive in movie once in while (yes these still exist). If money is a problem (since nothing is cheap), consider going on “nature dates.” Take a walk in the park or a hike in the mountains. Download the Geocache app and take a scavenger hunt around your town. You can even pack a picnic to take with you when you’re finished! Another advantage to this is that it sends the message to your partner that you aren’t high maintenance – and that you place more value on spending time together than spending money together.
6. Don’t forget about your friends
This might be the most important rule. While dating someone new is exciting, don’t get too caught up in the relationship too quickly. You’ll need your friends to be there when your significant can’t be – or when the relationship ends! Don’t be “that person” who always has to bring your girlfriend/boyfriend around to friend gatherings, especially if it’s a strictly a girl’s/boy’s night. It’s awkward, and it strips you of your individuality. Friends will always be your “diary” and will always wish the best for you; but remember, friendships are relationships, too! So don’t stop nurturing your friendships just because you’ve added a new dynamic to your life. Find and keep a balance!
