You walk into a Starbucks, the familiar smell of coffee and hipster hits like a ton of bricks. A panic sweeps across your brain as you try to decide whether or not you want a venti or grande, entirely unaware of what either word means. Eventually you decide to buy the venti because you know that otherwise you will order more later and no one needs that much sugar in one sitting. Eventually you receive your drink and walk to the seating area to find a seat.

The seating area has several central clustered tables that are absolutely packed with people. Another wave of panic passes as you scan for more seating, and eventually spot a nice corner booth. You take your drink and sit down in the booth. Upon looking up you see the benefits to each and every spot in Starbucks.

1. Table 1, aka the Busy Bee.

The small table for two located just offset the large mass allows for a birds eye view of each couple and conversation located in the Starbucks zone. No one is safe from your auditory range in this seat, and you can mentally engage yourself in the midst of the chaos or you can simply work through the noise. This seat has a particular crowd and is often in high demand, but you spot another seat.

2. The one seat in the entire place with a view.

Honestly, you would forget that this seat was even here due to its constant occupancy by hipsters, photographers, and the three people who spend every waking moment in Starbucks. This is the seat in the place where you can get your creative vibes going! Unfortunately, the "regulars" standing near it would rather get in a fist fight than let you sit there. Similar to bullies in high school, this seat is protected by vigilante Coffee-House-Goers, and is simply too high risk to go into.

3. The one that looks mediocre but is actually the worst seat in the house.

No one knows why this mystically cursed seat has never been fixed, but you know that at least once an hour someone sits in that seat with the expectation of bliss and is instead plunged into a hellhole of squeaks, cursing, and despair. That seat is similar to Cthulhu, but with good moods instead of worlds. Something in you always wants to try it, though (something about living as close to the edge as you can get).

4. The seat next to the weird couple who doesn't seem to realize that they are in a public place.

They execute the exact motion exemplified in the above gif, except they are sitting across from one another in a Starbucks. The seat open next to them is essentially a front row seat to a honeymoon love fest that no one asked for. The pheromones and P.D.A. alike would not only distract you from your work, but also wreck your faith in relationships for the next six months.

5. The seat in the corner that you ultimately choose.

Despite the options that you have at your fingertips, you are alone and would like to stay that way. You plug in headphones, staring at the different empty tables around you in between sessions of furiously typing on your computer. This is the best bet to get your work done and allows you to observe everything you want to, without talking to anyone. This is by far, the best seat in the house.