Those who know me personally might argue that my sister and I are like two peas in a pod. From the moment I was born, my sister held me in her arms and has showered the same unconditional love for the past 19 years. She has been a role model. A second mother. The best big sister. My best friend.

However, about six months ago she took a decision that left me speechless.

She met the love of her life and became engaged to him. Even though I was enthralled by the idea of gaining a brother in our family, there was an aching feeling in my heart and I was unsettled by the idea of not having my best friend by my side every second of the day.

As a younger sister, I always dreamed of the extravagant Indian wedding that will take place for my sister. However, the festivities clouded my ability to foresee the hole that will be created as she begins the next chapter of her life. These 19 years have been filled with ups and downs, adventures and nightmares, euphoria and anguish, where most of them include my big. If I am having the worst day or can’t contain my excitement, it can rest assured that the news has been traveled to my sister before anyone else.

Our relationship is one of a kind not due to the ability to communicate openly and resolve conflicts but because of the candor we innately abide by and an immeasurable love we share with each other. Arguments are inevitable between siblings and although we dispute on a daily basis, our fights strengthen our bond and solidify our friendship.

The first time I met my (soon-to-be) brother-in-law, I was afraid of losing my relationship with my sister. I was not familiar with who he was or the personality he carried. I was uncertain of extending my hand to him. Realizing that a year will hold fewer memories without my akka stained the picture-perfect image of my relationship with my best friend.

But I was proven wrong because he was nothing short of a big brother I fantasized about as a little girl. From flying to Houston for Thanksgiving, exploring Austin, paddle boarding, to exchanging our mutual love for hip-hop/rap artists and supporting me in my endeavors, my fear dissipated.

Moreover, I became confident about the man my sister is engaged to after witnessing him encourage my sister to try new adventures and provide support for her dance recitals. While there may be a hole in my realm, my sister deserves all the happiness the world has to provide. As much as I long to make new memories, I yearn for her life to be complete with her fiancé. It is comforting to see an individual caring for my best friend and dwell into one of the most remarkable journeys in a lifetime together.

My sister’s relationship with her partner reminds me of a poem by Rupi Kaur where she states:

“most importantly love
like it's the only thing you know how
at the end of the day all this
means nothing
this page
where you're sitting
your degree
your job
the money
nothing even matters
except love and human connection
who you loved
and how deeply you loved them
how you touched the people around you
and how much you gave them”

At times, I may feel as though I am missing my best friend. But during those times, I am reassured that I have gained another true friend who will take care of my sister.