When I was little and found out that my half sister was moving in with my parents and my brother and me, I was beyond happy. My role model and big sister was moving in! The circumstances were unfortunate- her mother had passed- but I knew what she needed was our love. The 6 years you spent with us was a roller coaster of fun, excitement, and drama. If I knew back then what I know now, I probably would have never gotten my hopes up.
You are six years older than me, not a lot of time but enough to have experiences worth sharing. You introduced me to some of my favorite television shows- Buffy and Charmed. You introduced me to a lot of music. Everything from Beyonce to Paramore. You were the big sister my friends wanted to have as their big sister. You were everything. But once you graduated, everything changed.
You became selfish and only cared about yourself. You snuck around and lied and brought me into your lies. Of course, I was going to lie for you, we were sisters. When you ran away the first time it broke my heart. I felt as if it were my fault in a way, "Did she not want to be around me?" This was the first time I could remember our family being so distraught. But you never took into account that our parents would go look for you. They forgot about my volleyball games twice that week. Once to go look for you and the other to bring you to the hospital which is good because you found out you had diabetes. So everything became about you. You and your running away and you and your diabetes. That's when I began to act out. I was never the same after that.
Eventually things went back to normal. You got a job, I went to school we semi bonded but it wasn't the same. Months passed and then out of nowhere you decided you wanted to moves to New Jersey with your brothers who had the same mother as you. I get it, and at the same time I don't. So was it us? Our family? The rules? Why did you go?
Years passed and I forgave you. I got over the heart break of you leaving and decided to live my life. I reached out to you. Tried to make plans and have a sister's trip. You broke that off. Once again, I was disappointed. There's a reoccurring theme with having you in my life and giving you chances. I won't anymore. If you want me, you know where to find me.
