Singleness. It is not a disease. I hate being addressed like it is. Just because I don’t have a boyfriend or I am not married doesn’t mean I’m missing out on anything. I, among many others, am perfectly happy with who I am. I believe in God and the path that He has for my life. This determines who I want to date.

I'm almost 21, in my second year in college, and I am not ready to be married right now. I like being single. I can hang out with my friends whenever I want. I don’t have to see someone every day. I don’t have to have someone distracting me from my grades or schooling. Yes, it is good to have someone to encourage you, but you don’t have to be in a relationship for that to happen.

I dress for myself. I make this an important statement because I use to be a girl who would dress a certain way to get a guy's attention. I used to never be comfortable. I always felt like I was on display. I couldn’t dress comfortably and I cared more of what others had to say about my looks than how I looked at myself.

I know too many girls who dress a certain way for their boyfriend, or in hopes of gaining the attention of a boy. That is so wrong! Why do girls do that? It is important to remember how girls present themselves, and the image they hope to portray.

If you want to dress up to feel pretty, then that is okay! This is why I dress for myself. If anything, I want a guy to like me for my personal style and not because I lure him in. If you have to dress a certain way so you don’t lose your man, there is a problem. There is also a lot of pressure. I like being comfortable, fashionable, and cute all at the same time, and the guys I date will like that about me.

But honestly, back to the whole singleness thing.

I don’t view myself as a single. I view myself as an individual. I am an independent, strong, and confident person. I do not look at the idea of being single, as choosing to be single. Being an individual is something everyone goes through. I would like to be married, but not now.

To my sisters who are believers in Christ...

We should feel comfortable in our own skin, and focus on spending our days trying to be a woman after God's own heart. Choose to focus on God's plan with your relationships. When we trust in God's plan for our future relationships, it does get a little easier. I honestly want to be known by my peers, as a strong disciple of Christ. I don’t need to be known for my relationship status, and I certainly don't want to be looked down upon for it! I am still human and I still like men. I have gone on dates with guys, but the guys I went on dates with haven’t been the Christian guy I want to get to know.

When I was in high school, all I wanted was to get a boyfriend. That’s what I thought I needed to be happy. I knew the "happiness" thing wasn’t true, but I still really wanted one. Thankfully God protected me, and didn’t have me date any one in my high school community. Looking back, the people in my community were not the influence I needed. God protected me.

I have gone through so much personal growth as I've become my own person. I feel like if I had a boyfriend, or was dating a bunch of guys during my high school days, I would have been distracted and may not have grown in the ways that I did to become who I am now.

Honestly, I am not ashamed to be single. I know that God has a big plan for me. I don’t see singleness as a negative thing about a person. For me, being single is about being an individual and growing to becoming my own person.

This Valentines day, try not to get too down about being single. Spend time with your friends and enjoy singleness! It is not a disease. It's about being an independent, strong, and confident person.

If you are looking for guidance about this topic check out the book: The Chaseby Kyle and Kelsey Kupecky.