Do you have a newly single friend that is having a hard time learning to be a single mom, and you have decided to help her?
Congratulations.
A gentle soul you are.
No doubt your decision will make your newly single friend's life easier.
You know she is emotionally, physically, and mentally drained from her current divorce, or widowed.
And…
You also know that multitasking from her work to kids close in age, changing diapers, and cooking Etc is overwhelming her.
But you're worried.
What if you come across too strong?
What if your friend feels you're barging into her life and telling her what to do?
The excellent news is, you can do this in ways that will make your friend feel great even in this challenging time.
Here are seven strategies to help your newly single-mom friend.
1. Be the exceptional best friend she needs at this bittersweet trying time
Pure friendship is the most vital deed you can offer to a newly single mom you care about. They need a positive, uplifting relationship.
You know -- that meaningful, healthy relationship with no strings attached -- aah! Being that type of friend to a newly single mom you care about is one of the best acts you can offer her.
2. Invite her to events to help her build a great support system with her consent
All single moms need support systems to help them feel strong. You can encourage her to join other single parent support groups like church, meditation, yoga, prayer, or even counseling.
If you're involved in a civic organization or religion, invite her to attend an upcoming event or meeting, and politely be sure to let her know it's a "no strings attached" standing invitation.
3. How about accompanying her to doctors' appointments?
Yes, you're doing a good job.
Single women experience both manageable and challenging struggles in their life. Doctors' appointments are no exception.
You know that moment you see an injection penetrating your child's veins as he cries painfully and uncontrollably?
You can offer your day and help her drive to and fro, prepare meals for her, and comfort both of them.
If you've been through the same situation, advise her on the importance of vaccines. Tell her it's a stage that must pass for the baby's welfare.
4. Be the shutterbug enthusiast in her life
Most single moms will miss their children's memorable shots because they are busy or due to unavoidable circumstances.
You can take up that slack for her. For instance, there may be occasions when you attend special events, parties, or a school play, and she cannot.
Offer to take those lovely shots of her kids and forward them to her.
Volunteer to take shots of the family at dinner time and fun times when everyone is present or just a mom and baby moment.
5. Give gifts that make a difference in her time and energy
Don't take this the wrong way because all gifts matter. But, at this time, a scented body lotion may be less helpful than a homemade meal, which can save her preparation time, especially if she's tired.
You can also do a Target gift card, a Christmas tree, or even a selfie stick. How about taking her shopping for a month's grocery stock?
Hold a scented body lotion or perfumes for later when everything is more manageable.
Focus now on what will save her time and energy.
6. Ask her how she feels and then really listen
Lend an ear as she opens up to her experience. Do not spout platitudes, but you can try to reframe her perception to show her a different angle or that things aren't nasty. Just listen.
Stay positive, show her you feel the pain, and that you're there to support her decisions.
Don't forget to assure her she can count on you for anything.
7. Encourage her thoughtfully and tell her it's going to be okay
Let her know it's a stage that won't last forever, let her know she'll settle with time, and she's not alone.
Let her know there are many women out there undergoing the same challenges and that she may be able to find them, and they can learn to thrive together.
Let her know she needs to fight for her kid's sake, who loves her unconditionally and sees her as a superhero.
In the end, a flower nourishes
Imagine seeing her less stressed as she attends to her chores happily.
Imagine her relaxing on a hammock calmly while she watches her kids play.
Imagine her having self-control overall situations.
Imagine her joy when she realizes she can go out and have some alone time all by herself.
Your goal was to make her feel supported or make her start down the new path better.
You have accomplished that.
She made it!
You saved a hurting soul.
Sounds great?
Now that you've done this for your friend,
You know that you've done some good in the world, so celebrate.
Next time it's going to be more comfortable.
Your next incredible act is waiting to put a smile on someone's face.
