Ah, yes, we all love it. The grass is lush and the flower gardens blaze with color. The birds wake us up and we lie in bed for a few more minutes, basking in the glory of our free schedule for that day. The warm sun kisses our skin by day… and a summer romance interest kisses our lips by night.
Summer romances are definitely not a new trend and it's no surprise that the constant human desire to love and be loved weaves its way into our summer affairs. So, in a culture where it seems that almost everyone is either in a relationship or some sort of “situationship”, why have I chosen to stay single this summer?
The answer lies not too far away in a simple explanation: my priorities have just been elsewhere this season. Now, hear me out as I know this perspective is quite favored by many lonely singles in denial. This perspective, as told by a young, single, Christian girl who is yet to be in a relationship, focuses on purpose vs. aimlessness.
Throughout the last couple of months, I have begun to see the state of singleness as the gift that it is. It is a time to grow, learn, and venture without having to keep up the responsibility of being tied to another. It is also a time to gain self-confidence and stability before giving so much time and attention to someone else. But most importantly, being single this summer really opened my eyes to what I want in a future relationship.
Summer romances are hardly ever deep and have the potential to end in nothing beneficial. Once the back-to-school month of August saunters around the corner, the time of leisure is over for many of us as we are drawn back to our demanding schedules. The truth is, that guy you met at the party probably won't be as interested or dedicated to you when he's waking up every morning at 6 a.m. to get to class. I believe that many are not jolted by this reality and as a result, opt to keep their summer flings light-hearted and playful.
Don't get me wrong, there's nothing wrong with this. It’s totally alright and even makes sense to take things easy, not rush, and just get to know your new boo. I'm saying that it depends on the person you're dating. Certain people try to use summer romance in a selfish way and simply want to fill a lonely void rather than actually get to know you. This can often lead to you being disrespected or feeling used by the end of it. I feel like many guys in my age group are doing this more and more these days and I'm just not into it.
This summer, I've come to realize that I crave depth and purpose in everything I do, especially in my relationships. Yes, even during light-hearted summer dating. My time and energy are precious and I don't want it spent on something or someone that will inevitably land me either nowhere, or in heartbreak junction. There should be value and respect in every relationship; two things that take a lot more than a couple of lackadaisical months to pull off.
I've waited to be in a relationship this long, so my standards are definitely a little high at this point. So, while I'm waiting on the right guy who values relationships the way I do, in a way that leads him to value and respect me and vice versa, I will be off with my priorities in God, adventuring, working, learning, and growing as a single woman in love with finding depth and purpose.
