Often times, when someone meets me, one of their first questions is: how do you do it? How do you manage it all?

Truthfully, I don't know. The past six years for me, as a single mom to a child who is extremely close to me and has been through his share of trauma, I am always one slip away from losing it all.

Everything is balanced and timed just right. We have to be up at exactly 6:00 a.m. if not we won't be ready on time and I will miss the bus to school. The next bus does not come for an hour, causing me to be super late again...for one exciting class: Shakespeare. Except, I never quite make it on that bus because my son has had another meltdown at school and won't get off the steps, he's crying and rocking himself back and forth. He has a history of being bullied and has a hard time communicating what is wrong.

My heart breaks every single time i see my son like this. No one understands the bond we share, quite like we do.

My son knows how hard I work.

I am not just a full-time student. I also work three part time jobs and am president of the Student Senate at my community college I attend. When I am not working or in school, I am usually doing work in my community on one of the boards i serve on. If i have any extra time, it is spent writing out scholarship essays and doing freelance articles and poems for various outlets.

Despite the long, long hours and stress filled days, my hard work has paid off immensely. That was, until i ended up in the hospital with bi- lateral pulmonary embolisms. Basically, I had a blood clot in each of my lungs. Troves of people came into hospital room to visit me. People from school, my community, and friends. However, as a single mom, I freaked out! Who the hell is going to watch my son? Wash his clothes and get him to school....without him running back home again? I was lucky enough to have good friends stand up and help...I even had my adviser from school who is more like a mom to me ,watch him one of the days. I am forever grateful for them.

I bring this all up because, I didn't know I was sick. I was so busy pushing all the time, whether it was a senate meeting or a deadline for one of my jobs or an essay that I just couldn't focus on finishing, another board meeting I couldn't make because I double booked myself.

All I wanted was to make it to the end of the semester, then I would go and reschedule all the doctors and dentists appointments I made and always canceled because I didn't have time.

I didn't have time for me...crazy but i really didn't. I brought my son to all his appointments, which included a team for counseling and mentoring, volunteered and organized many,many events and listened to all my friends as they were struggling themselves. One thing was missing, my self care.

Learning to say no is tough for me as a single mom.

Why?

Because society has engraved in me that I have to be wonder woman. That it's not okay to be on public assistance, that it's not okay to need help from anyone, that it's not okay to not be educated, that it's not okay to be imperfect or be plus sized because you can't afford to eat organic or pay for a gym or even have time to cook from working multiple jobs...let alone school and your sons appointments...

Society, go to hell.

I am imperfect, and I am a single mom, and I try...every day. The dishes might get done tomorrow, my homework might have to wait, dinner might be frozen pizza again, and oops, I skipped a PTO meeting...

Guess what? I love my son more than anything and anyone. We've been through a lot. Me and him. We will always have that bond. That's what's important!

To all my superhero single moms out there, you kick ass!