Yes, I am single.
Why do I have to be a strong independent woman who doesn’t need a man? Why do I need a significant other? Why can’t I be single in peace?
Yet everywhere I look, someone is telling me I am a strong independent woman who doesn't need a man. This is my time to work on me. I don’t want just anyone, and I am not going to settle. Why should I? So I can have some guy who is not right for me hanging on my arm, draining me, emotionally and financially? Not today. Now, there is nothing wrong with being in a relationship. One day, I hope to achieve #GOALS status as me and my significant other post appreciation posts for one another. I look forward to the day of cuddles on a cold winter night. BUT I want that with someone I trust and love. So I am single for now.
So back to the original question: why must I be strong and independent and in need of no man? I am strong. I am fairly independent. But I don’t want to have to be. I enjoy my freedom. I enjoy the ability to do, for the most part, what I want when I want. I have noticed that some of my strength comes from my ability to ask others for help. And sometimes that consists of, gasp, a significant other. Example: I have horrible seasonal allergies and am allergic to dust, pollen, grass, and most trees. Guess who can’t do yard work? (I am raising my hand behind this computer screen.) ME!
My strength comes from me realizing I cannot do it all. Correction, I can do it all, I don’t want to. I can do it all, but it hurts. I recognize and commend those who have to do it all. But I, personally, don’t want that. In my singleness, I have the ability to grow and discover what I like. I can find out what I am interested in. I can figure out where I need to grow. I’m not 100% strong in 100% of the areas in my life 100% of the time. I am learning to be independent and how to budget. I can learn how to shop and the appropriate use of coupons. I am learning to ask hard questions and stand up for myself. I am learning. I also have a problem with that statement because is that implies I don’t want a significant other. It implies I am perfectly happy to remain single for the rest of my life. Some people are cool with being single. I am content in my singleness. But please don’t scare everyone off by telling people I don’t need them. And personally, sometimes I want to be wanted and other times, I need to be needed. So if you find out I am single, please don’t try to tell me I am a strong, independent woman who doesn’t need a man. In a way I am. I don’t necessarily need him. I am strong. I am independent. But I am doing so much more. I am so much more.
