“Single is no longer a lack of options – but a choice. A choice to refuse to let your life be defined by your relationship status but to live every day Happily and let your Ever After work itself out.” – Mandy Hale, The Single Woman: Life, Love, and a Dash of Sass
Have you ever found yourself in a group of friends and their significant others and thought to yourself, “Damn. I feel like such a third wheel right now?” I have. Many times. And sometimes it is torture. But then come those glorious moments when your best friend texts you to complain about his or her significant other and you think to yourself, “Thank God I am single right now.”
For the longest time in society, women who were consistently single were often thought of as being ‘weird’ or ‘odd’ because they were not attached to another person. Women who were single were referred to as old maids, the crazy woman on the hill with the hundreds of cats, destined to die alone if they hadn’t found a man by a certain age, and so on. Being single is thought of as something negative rather than something positive. It’s okay to be single when you are in high school and maybe college but after that, there just HAS to be something wrong with you. On the contrary my dear, maybe there’s something wrong with you.
It’s no secret that, although it may not seem like it, most millennials are actually single. As of 2014, there were over 107 million Americans over the age of 18 that were single, and more than half of those individuals were women, according to NBC5 News. So why is that? Well, according to Bolde, there are 8 reasons why women are still single:
1. Women are becoming more educated, accomplished and independent
2. We refuse to put up with your BS
3. We know our worth and won’t accept anything less than what we deserve
4. Guys think their options are endless, but still we won’t settle for second best
5. Ladies, we have enough going on in our lives and if a guy can’t add to it, he’s not worth it
6. Hate to break it to you buys, but most women aren’t looking for husbands anymore
7. Speaking of husbands. Ladies, we’re slowly becoming our own husbands
8. Guys, stop being intimidated already by strong women. You say you want a strong woman and yet, when she comes along, apparently you just can’t handle her.
Another reason Bolde doesn’t add is that there are some women in this world who just like being single. They like being able to do what they want, when they want, with whomever they want, and not have to ask somebody’s permission before doing so. Some people might say that person is being selfish and not thinking about anybody other than themselves, but in a society where most millennials prefer hookups, one night stands and friends with benefits over a real relationship, you have to look out for number 1: yourself.
Being single doesn’t mean you are weird or that there is something wrong with you. Maybe you’re just not ready for a relationship right now. Maybe you just haven’t found ‘the one.’ Maybe you’ve just gotten out of a serious relationship and aren’t ready for a new one. Maybe you’ve had a string of bad relationships and just want some ‘me’ time right now. Or maybe you just have so much going on in your life that you would rather focus on and not add a relationship to the mix right now.
Being single gives you the chance to discover who you are as a person. What your passions are. What you are willing to tolerate in future relationships and where your limits are. Being single gives you the chance to find yourself and try new things. The less you focus on finding a relationship and focus on yourself, the better you will be for someone else. It’s like the saying goes, “You can’t love someone else until you learn to love yourself.” When you are single, it’s all about loving yourself and taking the time to get to know yourself.
There are too many women in this world who feel that they need a man to be considered worthy or that they need to be in a relationship to define themselves. There are too many women in this world who still feel the need to be in a constant relationship rather than take time for themselves. Ladies, take some time for yourselves! Stop being relationship hoppers. You don’t need a man to be happy. If you don’t want to be alone, get a dog. Or a cat. Or a fish. Find a hobby or start a book club. Spend more time with your friends and family. Get out and meet new people to avoid feeling lonely. More importantly, enjoy being able to sit at home in your pajamas on a Friday night with no bra, drinking a glass of wine and watching your favorite show or movie or being able to read your favorite book.
If you are single right now, don’t be embarrassed or wonder what’s wrong with you. There is nothing wrong with you. Some people are just meant to fly solo longer than others, and that’s okay. It’s also okay if you find you like being single and doing your own thing. To all the single ladies out there, no matter your age, you do you boo! And screw what everyone else thinks.
