The older I get, the more appealing a relationship becomes. The idea of a boyfriend who will go out to try new bars with me, stay in for the night cooking dinner together, or ya know the whole regularly having sex with the same person thing kind of does it for me. After being single for 23 years I'm really not asking for much, I just want a guy who is funny, cute, a bit of a bad boy, and doesn't ghost me after a few months. I'm not trying to date a Hemsworth over here but more of a Jason Sudeikis. With each passing day, the likelihood that I will find someone just dwindles away. My friends, sorority sisters, family members, and apparently everyone else on social media is capable of finding the perfect someone. So, I'm forced to ask myself the question that haunts my nightmares, am I undatable?!!!

Maybe I am over-simplifying relationships, but it just doesn't seem like I should be having such a hard time with this. I am a bitch. This is nothing new, and probably will never change. Is that my problem? Is my aggressive attitude and ability to fire off hilarious and witty comments ruining my chance at finding love? I've met countless guys who laugh at my jokes and tell me how fun I am to be around, but I've found myself in the neverending, ~dreaded~ friend zone. I'm pretty independent as far as girls go, and I don't expect a guy to fawn all over me. In fact I find it to be a total turnoff when a guy texts constantly, wants to always be together, and is too needy. I need someone who will give me the sass that I'm putting out into the world. I need a fellow asshole to navigate this adventure called life.

Am I undateable because I'm smart but lack common sense? I'm really book smart and come across as a nerd at times. I love reading for fun, and geek out over certain sci-fi movies, but if you ask me what the real name of the plus sign screwdriver is I will just laugh at you. I really don't mingle with a screwdriver unless it comes with vodka. I can carry on an intellectual conversation and I'm completely okay with watching a guy play video games for hours. Aren't guys supposed to be love that about me? I'm not psycho or crazy to the point of it being a problem. I will never check up on a guy to see if he's being “good”, contact his friends to make sure he isn't a liar, or blow him up when he's with his boys. I respect that guys should be able to go out for a night without being bothered by nagging girlfriends.

In my old age (read: early twenties) it's hard to not grow bitter when ghosting is a thing and guys are afraid to be blunt. I could totally benefit from a brutally honest sit down with a guy telling me what not to do. Seriously, the last guy I had something going on with was great. I thought the sun shined out of his ass, and I actually thought I had a shot at a real, adult relationship. Then BOOM nothing, no text saying he wasn't interested, no call saying things just weren't going to work. He literally gave me no sense of feedback as to why things went from “can't wait to see you next” to silence. So where do I go from here; do I change who I am or keep rocking the status quo? Is being in a relationship worth waiting for the one?