For the first time in a long time, I felt overwhelmed when I was asked what I was thankful for. For so long all I could think about and feel was the weight of the slew of mental illness I was suffering from. This year, though, things are different. I've been in therapy and recovery for over 10 months now and all I can grasp are all of the moments and memories I missed. The holidays can be extremely difficult for those struggling with mental illness and I guess that's why I found it so important to remember what I do have. I have my life back. I'm still sad, and I still have bad days and sometimes the world feels like it's crashing in on me, but I made it.
I'm enjoying the laughter of my friends on Friday nights.
People watching in the late afternoon.
Hugging a family member for a long time and feeling the warmth of their skin.
The sunlight dancing between tree branches.
Singing to my favorite songs on the way to school.
All of it, all the ups and downs, highs and lows, all the simple things make me believe that I am going to make it. Take the time once in awhile to write down the simple things you love about life and to keep it tucked away when you have a bad day. I may always miss the years my mental illness' took away from me, but I am more thankful and more in love with the years I have before me.
Here, is the poem that I recorded for the video above.
The Simple Things:
I think I’m thankful most, for the simple things
The moments that nobody else notices
The way trees bend in the wind and how thier moss feels soft and cold
Sunlight that shines behind tree branches as you drive listening to your favorite song
Sometimes, it's in the darkest points in my life that remind me of how thankful I am for
All of the trials that’ve given me strength
My therapist asked me what it meant to be happy on day
And I couldn’t quite understand because I think she meant to ask me
What it means to be still.
Stillness finds its way into you
Weather you like it or not
It’s in the inhales of happiness and exhales of anxiety
The silence is a stillness that can be reckoned with
It doesn’t hold its choke on me anymore
The simple things fill my life in a way that the emptiness never could
My friend’s laughter
People watching
Deep conversations at 1am
These are the moments of stillness, being
Being, Human being is what I a.m.
Just be, just be, just be.
*Stock footage used in the video are contributions from Videezy, all rights go to them.
*Music courtesy of Keith Kenniff
