This past week, I’ve realized that 19-year-old Olympic gymnast, Simone Biles, and I have something in common. I know what you’re thinking. You also have multiple gold medals? Well, the answer is no.
Like Simone, I’m also adopted. We actually have really similar stories. As someone who’s adopted, I’ve always been pretty dissatisfied with how the media portrays adoption and this past week, this dissatisfaction has gotten worse. It all started when NBC’s Al Trautwig referred to Biles’ parents as her “grandfather and his wife” on the air. Instead of acknowledging his mistake and apologizing for it once people started to call him out, Trautwig took it a step further by tweeting, “They may be her mom and dad but they are NOT her parents.” His statement had people all over social media outraged.
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Simone and her younger sister Adria were adopted in 2001 because of their biological parents’ struggle to stay sober. Before being adopted, Simone and her sister were moved around to different foster homes until she turned 6-years-old and was taken in by her biological grandparents. They adopted her and she started to call them “mom” and “dad” because it felt right.
As I previously mentioned, Simone Biles and I have similar stories. Like Simone, family members of my birth mother adopted me. My birth mother’s sister and brother-in-law raised me from the time I was a baby and legally adopted me, because my birth mother wasn’t able to take care of me. I actually didn’t know that I was adopted until I was 10-years-old, which goes to show you that the word “adoption” is meaningless in the grand scheme of things.
Often, when I tell somebody about my story, they become confused and begin to call my parents my “aunt and uncle.” Hearing this always causes confusion for me because I just don’t understand why people can’t accept that they are my parents. To be honest, it hurts. Do people not see me as my parent’s own child? The way a person comes into their parents’ lives doesn’t dictate the relationship between them and their parents. And it certainly doesn’t dictate the love that a parent feels for their child. Why is this so hard for some people to understand? My parents are my parents and I’m their child, regardless of who gave birth to me. I call them my parents and they raised me, so I don’t know why I or anybody else should see them as anything else.
Simone Biles was asked to comment on Al Trautwig’s statements and told US Weekly, “I personally don’t have a comment. My parents are my parents and that’s it.” If only everyone else had that same mentality! Trautwig did end up issuing an apology, but I really hope that his comments can be used as a learning experience for anybody who’s ever questioned the legitimacy of parents who’ve adopted their children. I hope that the attention that’s been brought to Simone Biles’ adoption story can allow people to realize that adoption doesn’t define the relationship between a parent and their child. Adoption is nothing but a legal technicality. Simone Biles and I see our parents as actual parents. And you should too!
