Dealing with any kind of bug in your home is downright awful -- termites, cockroaches, ants, or my uninvited holiday guests: Fleas. Filthy jumping parasites. Did you know that the adult fleas you see are only 5% of the total population? Yeah, just think about that. It gives me spine-tingles.

At first, I wanted to be environmentally friendly in my extermination of the pests, but after the first night that I spent tucked all the way under my blankets in a kind of tent around my head, breathing hot air all night, while a psychosis took root in my brain, I decided that chemical warfare was the way to go. I don't have any pets or children to accidentally poison, and for once, I'm ecstatic to not own a pet.

My chemical arsenal consisted of the following:

5 boxes of Borax.

Supposedly this is the only agent that can annihilate every life-stage of the flea, tearing them to shreds deep in the depths of the carpet; we had to painstakingly move every piece of furniture. Plus, you can toss a little Borax into your load of laundry, in addition to your standard detergent, to kill fleas in your clothes and blankets.

3 flea foggers.

We only used two at the same time, and they were at opposite ends of the apartment. Though I forgot to open the coat closet, and the closet in my bedroom, so we had to use the third flea fogger the day after the first two.

2 cans of cheap insect killer.

Just for good measure.

2 tea-tree oil bath bombs.

One for me, and one for my roomie.

On top of all that chemical flea-armageddon, I have to vacuum twice a day for two weeks, and then once a day for another four weeks. Talk about getting a buff right arm. Oddly enough, I've only seen a grand total of maybe 30 fleas throughout this whole infestation and de-bugging endeavor, and I haven't seen any for 36 hours and counting. I did get the jump on them early, though, so fingers crossed!

This process would be difficult for anyone (unless you're my roommate and have me to thank for doing the majority of the work), and even more-so if you have an animal. Once again, I'm so happy to not have one yet, but I'm a little bit of a hoarder. I'm very nostalgic and materialistic, so I like to keep stuff. When faced with a situation where I have to wash everything made of fabric that I own (which is a ridiculous amount), and I have to move literally ALL of my furniture, including my two heavy bookshelves and massive oak dresser, this can be pretty challenging.

In contrast, my roommate has maybe five boxes of stuff, total. So, I decided it was time for a massive downsize. I hadn't done one of those since high school, so I had a lot of old stuff stashed away -- clothes that I grew out of in high school but were too cool to throw away (RIP zipper pants), and other things that I'd locked in my steamer trunk and forgotten about.

I donated about five or six garbage bags full of stuff to Value Village, and threw away another two garbage bags worth of stuff that was either unfit to donate or old, useless stuff I'd held onto, like a dried rose, or some half-used scrap-booking paper -- things that had just been lying around gathering dust for a year and a half, including a fair amount of stuff from high school, that it was time to let go. It was difficult, but relieving and cathartic. I'd settled on the realization that I had to purge my horde, and I'd accepted it peacefully.

The funniest thing is that I feel like a snake shedding its skin, because thanks to the flea psychosis, I feel the constant creepy-crawly sensation all over my body. I almost want to thank the fleas, but alas, I hate the bugs and the invasion of my inner sanctuary way more than I feel grateful to them. Cheers to weeks of endless vacuuming and laundry, but hey, it's nice to make room for higher caliber stuff. I mean, I'm still materialistic.

If you're materialistic like me, I'd advise you to go through some of your horde, in case a random flea invasion lands in your lap. There doesn't need to be some catastrophic incident (like bugs in your home) to warrant downsizing. Think of it like spring cleaning, but for your belongings instead of your house. You'll feel 10 pounds lighter, guaranteed! I know I do.