Your study abroad adventure has finally begun. You're not really sure of anything anymore, except that you definitely overpacked. Besides trying to roll around your oversized baggage, your biggest challenge is keeping a low profile in another country. You may not know what you're doing, but at least you'll know what NOT to do if you're trying to blend in. Here are the top six signs you're a tourist.
1. Wearing a travel pouch
Travel pouches are a terribly unfashionable way of letting everyone know you're a tourist. I don't care how convenient it is to have all of your things in one place, it's a sin to wear one of these (ESPECIALLY in public).
No one looks sexy wearing one of these, not even this model:
If she can't pull it off, who can? My eyes! THEY BURN.
2. Using a paper map
As someone who is directionally challenged, I rely on maps. I prefer Google maps, but due to limited internet access, my mom and I used (gasp) a foldable paper map to get around. Yes, they still exist. But using a paper map is a lot less discreet than pretending to be "texting" on your iPhone. Using a paper map says, "I have no idea where I am going. I am a clueless American!"
3. “Food gramming” pictures
We know that you want everyone on Instagram to think you're cultured and exotic, but taking pictures of your food screams, "I'm a basic bitch American."
4. Reading a travel book
Similar to using a map, reading a travel book let's everyone know you are clueless. Luckily, you won't feel out of place anymore when you visit the top travel destinations because you'll be surrounded by other tourists. Woohoo!
5. Wearing a backpack
My sister visited South America recently, and was told by a local Peruvian that Americans are dumb because they put all of their most valuable items on their back, out of sight, instead of guarding them closely.
If you want to keep an eye on your stuff, you might have to resort to the baby backpack option -- which also makes it very apparent that you are traveling because you look like a mega tool.
And if you're wearing one of these monstrosities, you're DEFINITELY not "blending in" and you'll probably need to see a chiropractor once your vacation ends.
6. Using a selfie stick
You might get a great picture out of it, but you're going to be judged by everyone around you in the process (speaking from personal experience).
It was worth it.
After all, maybe the reason you look like a tourist is because you ARE a tourist. Don't worry about other people's opinions and enjoy your time abroad. No one here knows who you are, so embrace it (but seriously, please don't wear a travel pouch ... those will never be okay).
