Friendship is one of life's greatest blessings. Sadly, not all friendships are fulfilling and happy. Sometimes you will have a companion that makes you feel used, insecure, and exhausted. If you find yourself miserable being friends with someone, you need to either sit down and have a serious talk with them, or you need to leave. Here is a list of toxic traits that come with toxic friendships.
1. They always put you down.
You and your friend should feel like equals and bring each other up. Unfortunately, some friends will do the opposite. For example, someone may discourage you from your dreams because they believe you can't achieve them. Their ultimate goal is to make you feel inferior to them.
2. They frequently criticize you.
It's one thing to give each other constructive criticism, but if their "feedback" is constant and brings down your self-esteem, there is a problem. When the criticism is coming from a friend, we will take it personally. If your"friend" likes to patronize you and point out your flaws, it's time to either stand up for yourself or walk away.
3. You feel used.
They ask for a favor, you do it for them, and they show no appreciation afterward. Then you ask for a favor and they shut you down every time. And this cycle repeats itself. If this isn't a huge red flag to you, you are probably color blind.
4. They are untrustworthy.
One of the most important parts of friendship is trust. You need to be able to rely on each other in any situation. If you don't feel comfortable sharing secrets with them or you don't think they will catch you when you fall, then there is a high chance they are toxic.
5. They talk about you behind your back.
No one likes a two-faced person. Unless your BFF has some nice things to say about you to others, they don't need to be talking about you behind your back.
6. They bully you.
These days it's common for friends to pick on each other as a sign of affection. However, how much is too much? Sometimes your friend will deliver jab after jab and may or may not realize it's hurting your feelings. Either way, they should not be treating you like that.
7. They are selfish.
The only feelings that matter are theirs. They will only help out if it's convenient for them. The world revolves around them. If this toxic trait isn't obvious enough, you may want to take a closer look at your friendships.
8. You are the one always reaching out.
You're the one always texting or calling them first. You're the one always asking to hang out. Do they ever do the same in return? If not, try not to initiate any conversation with them for a while. If they really cared about your friendship, they will pick up the phone.
9. You have to walk on eggshells.
Are you always watching what you say and do when you're around your friend? If so, that's a problem and it's absolutely unfair to you. Intentionally monitoring your actions in order to keep your friend from going ballistic is stressful and exhausting. Trust me, I know.
10. You're not happy when you're with them.
Spending time with a friend should make you feel energized, relaxed, and joyful. However, if you're at the point where hanging out with your BFF feels like a chore, something's wrong. You feel anxious, on edge, and just want to go home. That's pretty bad.
11. They are jealous.
Does your BFF get annoyed when you share your accomplishments? What about if you talk about or spend time with your other friends? If so, that's an issue. They should be happy for you. There's nothing wrong with feeling a little competitive once in a while, but if it's an ongoing issue, it's time to have a talk.
12. There's always drama with them.
There is always something going on in your friend's life, but does it ever seem like they make it out to be as if the world is against them? Is there ALWAYS something going wrong? Who knows? It's normal to have drama going on, but if they thrive off of it and like to drag you into it, that's not cool.
13. You keep good news to yourself.
If you feel like you can't share your good news (promotion, new job, award, etc.) with your friend because they can be envious, nonchalant, and/or negative, that's an obvious sign of a toxic friend. It's completely unfair to you.
14. You never get a chance to talk.
Your friend will tell you about their week, their problems, and practically everything going on in their lives. However, do you get to do the same? If your BFF talks about themselves too much, they are clearly not interested or concerned about the events in YOUR life.
15. They tend to be negative about everything.
They didn't like the restaurant you both went to for your birthday. It took an extra 45 minutes to get to the bar because there was an accident on the freeway. Constant complaining, nothing to be happy about. If your BFF is a Debbie Downer, I would steer clear.
16. You are always to blame.
It's normal for mistakes to happen. It's also common for friends to get into fights and/or disagreements. But if you are the one that is always apologizing, taking the blame, and trying to make things right, there's something fishy going on. It's time for your "friend" to start owning up to THEIR behavior.
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