Picture yourself with your friends. Have you ever sometimes felt extreme anxiety, sadness even, fear of judgment, feelings of powerlessness, or even chronic doubt of yourself and your intrinsic worth? You wonder what on earth could be wrong with you. But maybe you don't have a problem. Maybe you have a toxic friend.
We are fortunate to have so many friends over the course of our lives, each different and capable of enriching our lives and uplifting us. But what might cause us to feel different and occasionally less happy when we're with our friends? Somebody in the mix can be toxic. I have the privilege of having so many amazing people in my life--but I've still spent long periods of time wondering why I sometimes felt alone when surrounded by a group, why at times I felt I was "weird" and "not good enough" for my own friends, why I occasionally felt uncomfortable among people I knew. Only recently did it click. I had a toxic friend.
So I am here to say you're not alone, many of us may have toxic friends and never know, and I have determined fifty red flags that indicate you might have a toxic friend:
1. You might have a toxic friend if you feel like every situation turns to drama.
2. You might have a toxic friend if your thoughts and feelings are scoffed at or invalidated.
3. You might have a toxic friend if your opinions are constantly shut down or contradicted.
4. You might have a toxic friend if you feel like the focus of the conversation is entirely on the friend...
God forbid you ever mention yourself.
5. ...or you might have a toxic friend if the conversation only focuses on something negative about you.
When the conversation shifts to you, it becomes, "Do you still hate..." or "Are you still depressed about..."
6. You might have a toxic friend if the friend flirts with somebody you like.
7. You might have a toxic friend if your friend freeloads from your generosity.
You give so much and get nothing in return? I've been there too.
8. You might have a toxic friend if you feel like you're always getting "outsmarted."
9. You might have a toxic friend if you are constantly given negative labels like "weird" or "awkward."
10. You might have a toxic friend if you feel invisible at times.
Have you ever felt like your friend talks to the person next to you as if you're not even there?
11. You might have a toxic friend if you are told you "aren't __ enough" or "too ___."
12. You might have a toxic friend if you're laughed at— not laughed with.
13. You might have a toxic friend if your friend emphasizes and talks about your insecurities.
14. You might have a toxic friend if you are made to believe that other people don't like you.
True story: I almost quit a school activity because someone convinced me that nobody likes how I "force others to be friends with me." I had this delusion that everyone hated me when the truth was that nobody did. I actually just had a toxic friend.
15. You might have a toxic friend if the friend has nothing nice to say about anyone (except himself/herself).
16. You might have a toxic friend if you feel like you are always criticized or can't do anything right.
17. You might have a toxic friend if you feel like you are deliberately left out.
18. You might have a toxic friend if you feel like the friend is "dominant" in the friendship.
19. You might have a toxic friend if the friend never does anything without an ulterior motive.
A toxic friend always seems to wonder, "What's in it for me?"
20. You might have a toxic friend if your friend portrays you negatively to others.
21. You might have a toxic friend if your friend makes up lies about himself/herself...
22. ...or you might have a toxic friend if your friend makes up lies about you.
23. You might have a toxic friend if the friend is NEVER happy for you.
24. You might have a toxic friend if you are blatantly insulted under the pretense of "being teased."
25. You might have a toxic friend if (s)he knows you don't like when (s)he does something...and does it anyway.
Your friend should NEVER start a sentence with, "I know you hate when I do this but..."
26. You might have a toxic friend if (s)he fakes poverty as an excuse to be cheap.
27. You might have a toxic friend if your friend clearly treats different people differently...
28. ...or you might have a toxic friend if you feel like you are treated differently in different situations.
29. You might have a toxic friend if you feel like your emotions are manipulated.
You get so convinced that you're unhappy or depressed that you start to really feel that way—only to realize that you were only made to believe you are.
30. You might have a toxic friend if you feel the friend tries to jeopardize your other friendships.
No friend should "take away" your existing friends.
31. You may have a toxic friend if you never can lead the conversation...
32. ...or you might have a toxic friend if, in times you try lead the conversation, the subject is quickly changed.
33. You might have a toxic friend if your friend breaches your trust. Even once is too many times.
34. You might have a toxic friend if your friend sours you towards things you enjoy.
35. You might have a toxic friend if you feel your friend "talks down to you."
36. You might have a toxic friend if your friend holds unnecessary grudges against you or others.
37. You might have a toxic friend if you feel lower about yourself after spending time with that friend.
Friends are supposed to uplift you. No ifs, ands, or buts about it.
38. You might have a toxic friend if your friend brings up your past mistakes or qualms.
39. You might have a toxic friend if you always feel judged.
40. You might have a toxic friend if you're backstabbed... constantly.
41. You might have a toxic friend if your friend only contacts you to talk about himself/herself...
Sometimes a "just wanted to catch up" text is just a disguise for "just wanted to tell you all about myself."
42. ...or you might have a toxic friend if your friend only contacts you when (s)he needs something.
43. You might have a toxic friend if your friend will never go out of his/her way to actually help you.
44. You might have a toxic friend if you enjoy the dynamic better when the friend is NOT around.
45. You might have a toxic friend if your friend has to one-up all of your experiences and achievements.
If this article gets 1,000,000 hits, I guarantee my friend will allegedly have an article that got 1,000,001.
46. You might have a toxic friend if your friend creates a hierarchy out of your friend group.
Especially when you feel like you're on the bottom of this "ranking."
47. You might have a toxic friend if your friend is hypocritical.
The friend gossips constantly but calls you "mean" when you gossip. The friend spends ridiculous amounts of money on clothes but calls you "spoiled" when you splurge. The friend drinks large quantities of alcohol but calls you an "alcoholic" when you drink.
48. You might have a toxic friend if you are made to doubt your own strengths or abilities.
49. You might have a toxic friend if you feel "guilty" or "inadequate" because of your opinions or preferences.
50. You might have a toxic friend if you ever question if (s)he is really your friend.
If people are your friends, they act like it.
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- 8 Signs You're In A Toxic Friendship ›
- 10 Signs of a Toxic Friend Who Is Secretly Poisoning Your Life ›
- Toxic Friendships: Do You Have One? - WebMD ›
- 10 Signs of a Toxic Friend that You've Probably Never Realised ›
- Toxic Friends: When to Break Up With Friends | Reader's Digest ›
- 7 Signs You're In A Toxic Friendship | Real Simple ›
- Is My Best Friend Toxic? 9 Signs To Look Out For, According To ... ›
- 10 Signs You Have a Toxic Friend - YouTube ›
- Signs your friendship is toxic - Business Insider ›
- 8 Signs of a Toxic Friendship | Psychology Today ›
- 23 Warning Signs of a Toxic Friend | HuffPost ›
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