If Your Ex Did Any Of These Things, They Were ACTUALLY Toxic | The Odyssey Online
Start writing a post
Swoon

If Your Ex Did Any Of These Things, Leave That Toxicity In The Past

Is your relationship actually toxic, or is it just another word for someone being upset about their relationship?

389
If Your Ex Did Any Of These Things, Leave That Toxicity In The Past

Like other slang words that become overused, especially in the era of social media, it can be hard to know what "toxic" means when it comes to relationships. Of course, clear-cut physical abuse is easily identifiable, but what about emotional abuse? What even counts?

Is a relationship toxic if you're crying all the time? But are you crying because you got upset about small things, or because they did something deliberate to hurt you? Is it because you think your boyfriend should act a certain way, and get crushed expectations, or is he constantly overstepping boundaries?

If your ex did any of the following things, the relationship was toxic.

They never compromised with you.

Every fight, every disagreement, every discussion always ended up with you giving up your side because you were tired of fighting. If you were stuck always doing what your partner wanted, your relationship was likely toxic. Especially if they were not willing to compromise or hear your side of the arguments and it was like talking to a wall. They'd deny, switch topics, belittle you, and undermine your feelings. Eventually, you'd end up giving up or always stuck in a fight, and never be able to express your thoughts.

They were hypocritical when it comes to what they've done wrong.

When you did something wrong, all hell broke loose. You had to get down on your knees and practically beg for their forgiveness but when they messed up, they laugh and brush it off as "not a big deal" or gave a half-hearted apology. Does this sound familiar? If so, your relationship with your ex was probably toxic. If they were the judge, jury, and executioner when you messed up but never took responsibility for their own mistakes, that's a huge red flag.

You weren't truly happy.

It seems obvious, but a lot of us can be pretty dense when it comes to our own feelings. Maybe you constantly cried. Maybe you were always arguing. Maybe you felt like you were trapped. Regardless, you weren't happy, but you were scared you'd be even less happy if you left because heartbreak is scary. This is a sign your relationship with your ex was a toxic one.

They threatened you.

Threats of every kind really. Maybe they said they'd leave and find someone better. Maybe when you were fighting, they'd bring up an ex and bring past issues into it. If they compared you to other people, if they threatened to cheat or leave, this was emotional abuse. Whether or not it was a "joke," words that hurt you like this are meant to destroy your self-esteem and are a tool of emotional abuse. Or maybe, they threw something at you. They yelled at you, with all of their anger and darkness spewing out of their mouth at full force. They threaten to tell your friends or family about a secret. They said they'd leak your nudes on the internet. This was all abuse, emotional, physical, and mental abuse.

They were controlling and demanding.

One of the biggest signs of a toxic relationship is if someone tried to monopolize all of your time. The expectation that you need to share 100 percent of your time and attention with your romantic partner is unrealistic and unfair. You're allowed to have personal time, work time, time with friends, and family. If they were trying to take up all of your free time, whether intentional or not, your relationship was not a healthy one. Being controlling of your time is a big sign of a toxic relationship because dating someone doesn't mean you signed a contract to become one person, you are your own separate human beings. If your partner wanted to tell you what you could and could not do, how you could spend your free time, who you could see, how you could dress, what you could say, it's a good thing they're your ex.

No one, no matter who you are, should be subjected to that kind of degradation of character. Whether it comes from anxiety or fear, if your ex did these things, it means they didn't really respect you as a human being. Even if they claimed to, the fact that they didn't trust you enough for you to be your own person speaks volumes. Your partner should always be able to trust you, and if they monopolized your time or controlled you, they clearly didn't trust or respect you.

While these are seven clear signs your relationship is toxic, if you are in a relationship like this, it may be valuable to talk to a licensed professional. There can be many signs of emotional abuse in a relationship, and many other important signs that weren't covered in this article. If you or a loved one needs help, please explore these resources listed below.

National Domestic Abuse Hotline: 1-800-799-7233

National Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-4673

Follow Swoon on Instagram.

Report this Content
Featured

15 Mind-Bending Riddles

Hopefully they will make you laugh.

191200
 Ilistrated image of the planet and images of questions
StableDiffusion

I've been super busy lately with school work, studying, etc. Besides the fact that I do nothing but AP chemistry and AP economics, I constantly think of stupid questions that are almost impossible to answer. So, maybe you could answer them for me, and if not then we can both wonder what the answers to these 15 questions could be.

Keep Reading...Show less
Entertainment

Most Epic Aurora Borealis Photos: October 2024

As if May wasn't enough, a truly spectacular Northern Lights show lit up the sky on Oct. 10, 2024

15423
stunning aurora borealis display over a forest of trees and lake
StableDiffusion

From sea to shining sea, the United States was uniquely positioned for an incredible Aurora Borealis display on Thursday, Oct. 10, 2024, going into Friday, Oct. 11.

It was the second time this year after an historic geomagnetic storm in May 2024. Those Northern Lights were visible in Europe and North America, just like this latest rendition.

Keep Reading...Show less
 silhouette of a woman on the beach at sunrise
StableDiffusion

Content warning: This article contains descriptions of suicide/suicidal thoughts.

When you are feeling down, please know that there are many reasons to keep living.

Keep Reading...Show less
Relationships

Power of Love Letters

I don't think I say it enough...

458250
Illistrated image of a letter with 2 red hearts
StableDiffusion

To My Loving Boyfriend,

  • Thank you for all that you do for me
  • Thank you for working through disagreements with me
  • Thank you for always supporting me
  • I appreciate you more than words can express
  • You have helped me grow and become a better person
  • I can't wait to see where life takes us next
  • I promise to cherish every moment with you
  • Thank you for being my best friend and confidante
  • I love you and everything you do

To start off, here's something I don't say nearly enough: thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you from the bottom of my heart. You do so much for me that I can't even put into words how much I appreciate everything you do - and have done - for me over the course of our relationship so far. While every couple has their fair share of tiffs and disagreements, thank you for getting through all of them with me and making us a better couple at the other end. With any argument, we don't just throw in the towel and say we're done, but we work towards a solution that puts us in a greater place each day. Thank you for always working with me and never giving up on us.

Keep Reading...Show less
Lifestyle

11 Signs You Grew Up In Hauppauge, NY

Because no one ever really leaves.

26824
Map of Hauppauge, New York
Google

Ah, yes, good old Hauppauge. We are that town in the dead center of Long Island that barely anyone knows how to pronounce unless they're from the town itself or live in a nearby area. Hauppauge is home to people of all kinds. We always have new families joining the community but honestly, the majority of the town is filled with people who never leave (high school alumni) and elders who have raised their kids here. Around the town, there are some just some landmarks and places that only the people of Hauppauge will ever understand the importance or even the annoyance of.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments