Signs Of A Pseudo-Procrastinator | The Odyssey Online
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Student Life

Signs Of A Pseudo-Procrastinator

Warning: no known cure.

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Signs Of A Pseudo-Procrastinator
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No matter how old you are, or how old you get, it always seems like there is an unfinished pile of work waiting for you. This may seem like a bold statement to declare, but I'm speaking from experience. It terrifies me that I am only 19 and I feel like that pile is full of things I will never get to.

There comes a point where I feel that a to-do list in the back of my head gets so long that I cannot deal with it. As a result, I procrastinate or what my friends call "pseudo-procrastinate." Signs of a pseudo-procrastinator are as follows:

You find yourself....

1. Thinking about all of your responsibilities.

2. Pondering the impending doom you will experience during the exam you're pretending you don't have.

3. Scrolling through Twitter, retweeting things about hating school and loathing studying.

4. Taking a nap filled with nightmares of being swallowed up by the vortex of work you have.

5. Talking about everything you have yet to do with friends.

6. Listening to your mood booster Spotify playlist with the intention of getting things done, but end up getting caught up in a jam session.

7. Working out because running a mile is less painful than that lab report you have due tomorrow.

8. Crying when you realize that the past seven ways have distracted you from all your work that is due tomorrow.

9. Finishing everything you procrastinated because that's who you are.


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1. You will have that special "college" look to you.

2. You will feel like an adult but also feeling like a child.

3. You will have classes that are just the professor reading from their lecture slides for an hour.

4. You will need to study but also want to hang out with your friends.

5. Coffee is your best friend.

6. You don't know what you're doing 99% of the time.

7. You will procrastinate and write a paper the night before it is due.

8. Money is a mythical object.

9. It is nearly impossible to motivate yourself to go to classes during spring.

10. The food pyramid goes out the window.

11. You will have at least one stress induced breakdown a semester.

12. Most lecture classes will bore you to tears.

13. You will not like all of your professors.

14. You will try to go to the gym... but you will get too lazy at some point.

15. When you see high school students taking tours:

16. You will try to convince yourself that you can handle everything.

17. Finals week will try to kill you.

18. You won't like everyone, but you will find your best friends sooner or later.

19. You actually have to go to class.

20. Enjoy it, because you will be sad when it is all over.

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