No matter the Instagram posts, not every relationship is perfect. There are millions of people who are in a relationship they're not happy in and/or feel stuck. There are so many people in the world who are toxic and unhealthy to be with and sadly a lot of them are in a relationship and bring their significant other down with them. These are 3 of the biggest red flags I have experienced in my past toxic relationships.
You’re afraid to tell them how you feel
If you are afraid to tell your boyfriend or girlfriend that you're upset with them or even that you're bothered by something, that's a huge red flag.
From my personal past relationships, I was so scared to lose the person, so I just never said anything. However, when I did grow a pair and finally say something to them about how something they did bother me, all hell broke loose.
I was guilt-tripped and basically told that whatever they did was my fault. When I got out of that relationship, I promised myself, "The next time you allow someone to break your walls down like that, you tell them how you feel and if they can't handle it, don't be with them."
A lot of men and women are scared to tell their S.O they're upset about something because they are scared of the consequences. In a good relationship, you are free to be yourself and if the other person doesn't like it, then it's not meant to be.
You apologize even when you know deep down you did nothing wrong
This relates to the point mentioned before. A lot of people will guilt trip their S.O when they tell them, "Hey...the other day when you ___ it really bothered me." Instead of trying to talk everything out, some people will try to make the person who is being bothered feel even worse than they did when they brought up what they were trying to talk about.
You should be able, to be honest, and talk about whatever you want with your boyfriend or girlfriend without being scared that nothing will be resolved. When a fight occurs it's not always one person's fault. If you're truly bothered by something you can't help that and you shouldn't feel sorry for it.
It isn’t a two-way street
If you are always the one to make plans, text them first, call first, even talk first, it isn't a two-way street. Every relationship should be 50/50, mentally and emotionally.
There should always be equal effort coming from both sides. In a healthy relationship, everything should even out. Don't get me wrong there might be some days where one person may need a little more motivation and just a little more effort than usual, but that should never be 99% of the time.
When things aren't 50/50, the relationship can become very emotionally draining for the person who is putting in the most effort. Everyone deserves to be with someone who cherishes them just as much as they do.
