Ooh, I bet you read that headline and immediately cringed. In this "progressive" day and age of not ever actually saying what we mean and using riddles to communicate our feelings, it has become very difficult to tell when someone is genuinely interested in you.
A lot of us have an uncanny ability to recognize a snake when they're talking to one of our close friends, but we cannot differentiate between a good guy and a less-than-stellar one when they enter our own line of vision... and we sure can't tell what their intentions are to save our lives.
Many of us have to go through hours upon hours of rants to our best friend about "why he might like me" before we realize in the end that we've been grabbing at straws the whole time. That said, I think it's time we address certain things that are usually common among guys you've been "talking" to who truly just want to be friends. Ouch.
1. They never initiate conversation.
This is usually a great indicator of if a person is genuinely interested in you. If you've been talking to... *For all intents and purposes of this article, we'll use the name Leo. That's a name no girl wouldn't swoon over.* If you've been talking to Leo every day for a month now and you're fairly certain he likes you, check how many times you've been the first person to initiate the conversation. See how many texts you've sent first, how many outgoing calls are in your log, how many times you've been the one to ask to hang out. If it's been you the majority of the time, you may want to reconsider how much time he actually wants to spend with you or talking to you.
2. You take one step forward, they take two steps back.
A lot of the time, this one is tricky because we may think they started flirting with us first. Leo may give you a small compliment and you'll freak out and say something much too forward back. Then, when Leo doesn't reply for hours on end or when he responds with a one-word answer, you'll wonder what you did wrong. Don't worry- it's not you, it's him. If he recoils from the conversation or changes the subject, it's likely a sign that he's not interested.
3. They're not interested in meeting your friends and they sure don't introduce you to anyone they know.
Always trust the warning flags that pop up when you try to introduce them to your friends or family and they completely flake. If he isn't interested in talking to anyone who's close to you, he isn't interested in you. This is multiplied tenfold when he never introduces you to the people he's friends with. When you know Leo's always hanging out with his best friend, but he never bothers to introduce you or makes an attempt to talk to you about them... it's time for you to move on.
4. They only talk to you when it benefits them.
This one is super shady, but unfortunately, it happens all the time. If Leo only talks to you when he's bored, when he needs an ego boost, or when he wants to show you off to his friends, get out of there. That's a guy who not only doesn't like you, but he's arrogant enough to string you along so he can flaunt you later on like a prize or use you as an ego kick whenever he has a bad day. Heck to the no.
5. They frequently bring up other women.
This is an automatic response a lot of guys have when they can sense another person might be into them. If you're trying to drop hints and he keeps bringing up his ex, his best friend who is BEAUTIFUL, or other girls he knows and "talks to", that's your cue to leave. Nobody who is genuinely interested in YOU will spend the entire conversation talking about someone else.
6. They create obvious physical space.
When you're hanging out with Leo and it seems like you can't ever get close to him without him backing away, there's a problem. This doesn't even relate to intimacy, it could just be when you're in general proximity of each other. If you lean closer to tell him something or just to express interest and he always creates more space, it's a signal that he isn't comfortable being even slightly close to you. And if he isn't comfortable being close to you, he obviously isn't into you.
7. They're not present when you see them in person.
Even if Leo's a super cool guy and you two spend time together frequently, if he never takes his eyes off his phone or if he's always distracted by other things, that's your signal. Someone who likes you and genuinely wants to spend time with you will make every effort to keep other distractions at a minimum and focus on you. If Leo's using his time with you to text other girls, that's a double no.
8. They don't ask about your personal life.
If Leo seems to always talk about himself and what he's doing today and what he's planning on but never has time to ask about you, you may want to ask yourself, "why?" Someone who considers you in a romantic or even friendly way will want to ask you about your day. They'll want to ask you about your future plans, about your life, about your relationships with other people because they actually want to know. If they never ask but always demand that attention from you, then move along.
9. They're flippant about plans.
If they're interested in you, they will want to see you and they will make every effort to keep set plans with you. If you and Leo plan to go get food the day before and then he suddenly cancels or pushes it back 5 minutes before you have to meet up, take the time to consider if it's really worth your time. Doing this once or twice in a blue moon shouldn't concern you at all. Everyone has things come up. However, if this is a frequent occurrence, you don't need to be spending your time on this guy.
10. They leave you wondering... period.
One sure fire way to tell if someone is interested in you or not is if they leave you wondering at all. If it's only been a couple of days or a week or two, then calm down. You're not getting married anytime soon. However, if it's been months and you still can't figure out if they like you or not, chances are they don't. People who truly like you WILL tell you if they do. If they don't, then take the L and keep moving forward. And when you eventually find that person who genuinely cares, you'll realize how huge of a difference it makes.
