When people think of abuse the first thing that comes to mind is physical abuse. What often is over looked is emotional abuse. Emotional abuse can be towards and from anyone. Parents, boyfriends, friends, anyone can be emotional abusive.
What does emotional abuse look like?
Emotional abuse is degrading a person and making them feel less of them self.
Whenever someone is called fat, or ugly, or any other name over periods of time, that is emotional abuse. Most of the time the abuser doesn't apologize and thinks it is just words. It is not. That kind of treatment leads a person to think less of themselves and sometimes it causes a long period of sadness.Often times the abuser places blame on a victim for why the abuser acts the way they do. After while the victim in the situation may believe everything they have been told, even if it was something said a long time ago. Things an abuser says lingers in a victim's mind and that person replays and replays everything bad they have ever been called and it makes a person feel worse about themselves. A victim sometimes cries themselves to sleep, still hearing the the words of their abuser and that leaves damage that takes a long time to repair. Words hurt, and when it comes from someone you love or someone who is supposed to love you, it makes the situation so much worse.
Emotional abuse is threatening another person
Okay so a person was never hit or physically harmed? What about the threats that scare someone to the core? What about the times an abuser got in the face of the victim and screamed names, or commands to the victim? These threats and types of behaviors are just as worse as actually being harmed because the person who feels threatened also feels fear constantly whenever they are around the emotional abuser. This also causes the victim to become distant from the abuser because the threats make it hard to trust and be around him/her. Sometimes an emotional abuse victim wishes they would just be hit because the bruises leave, but the words leave an impact that is hard to get rid of.
Why does this happen?
It is said most people who abuse others is unhappy themselves and that is the reason they lash out. However this doesn't make it okay.
There is a stigma around emotional abuse victims.
They are looked at as weak, cry babies, or crazy but for someone to be emotionally abused for a long period of time, it takes a toll on their self image, confidence and sometimes can hurt their relationships with others because they have a hard time with trust. When someone is threatened for so long it is natural for a victim to become defensive and feel threatened whenever someone exhibits similar behaviors to their abuser. Even someone raising their voice can cause the victim to become scared and will associate the person raising their voice to their abuser.
Emotional abuse is something that is "swept under the rug" and is not seen as "real abuse". Emotional abuse is real, it is happening. It could even be happening to the person who seems happy all the time. Emotional abuse may not leave bruises or scars on the outside, but it leaves feelings that can potentially make a person harm themselves.
How can emotional abuse victims harm themselves?
Eating disorders, and self harm are two terrible outcomes of being emotionally abused. Why does this happen? Depression. Most of the time an emotional abuse victim becomes depressed if the abuse is constant. Depression is something that shouldn't be taken lightly and is more than just being "sad". Depression is a killer. Depression kills confidence, kills motivation, kills relationships, and can in some cases kill a person. Depression is one of the worst parts of emotional abuse because it is something that is hard to get rid of and it can happen even at the happiest of times.
Something I think our generation is doing well is bringing emotional abuse to the attention of people who believe it is fake. Emotional abuse is real, it happens. I've seen the affects it has on a person. Sometimes it just takes awareness to make a difference.
The real thing people need to know is that words are not just words. Words have the ability to really hurt someone. It is said for every bad thing said to someone it takes compliments to get the person to forget about the bad thing. Think of all the bad things an abuser says to someone, how many times a victim gets called names. How many compliments would they need to forget about it? Too many to where compliments do not help. It is hard to forget about emotional abuse. It will always be in the back of a victim's mind and that can destroy a person.
